4. What Usually Happens after the Igba Nkwu ?
I wrote a detailed post giving an overview of what the Igba Nkwu process looks like (what happens before, during and after the Igba Nkwu) ceremony, but I’ll touch on it here briefly.
At the end of the ‘igba nkwu’ ceremony, the groom would take his wife home with him, as they have become man and wife. The Igbo traditional wedding is a legally recognized wedding in Nigeria, just like every other traditional marriage. Some couples choose not to have a second wedding (court registry or religious/ church white wedding).
In the olden days, the ‘igba nkwu’ was the only wedding ceremony of the Ndigbo, but these days most Ndigbo couples have church wedding (aka white wedding) after their ‘igba nkwu’. Depending on your (groom’s) preference, the couple may want to have a church solemnization (white wedding) immediately or a day after the ‘igba nkwu’/ Igbo traditional wedding or they can choose to have it after a few weeks or months.
- RELATED POSTS:
- How to Have a Traditional and White Wedding on Same Day
- Igba Nkwu/ Wine-Carrying Ceremony: Overview of What Happens During It
5. What to Wear During Your Igbo Traditional Marriage Ceremony?
SUMMARY: What To Wear During Your Igbo Traditional Wedding
- FOR MEN: 5 Stunning Igbo GROOMS Shirt and Wrapper Traditional Attire (also with Brides’Coordinated Look)
- 20 In-Vogue Igbo Traditional Wedding Hairstyles and Coral Beads
- 19 Latest Igbo BRIDES Traditional Wedding Attire Styles
- Latest George Wrapper and Blouse Styles for Igbo Brides
- Latest Igbo Lace Blouse Styles for Wrappers
Of all the above stages of the Igbo engagement ceremony, the ‘igba nkwu’ is the one that every bride looks forward to because it is the traditional wedding reception party, and takes place after the bride price payment and marriage rites are performed. The Igba Nkwu day is the day for the bride to dress up like a princess. The bride’s igba nkwu attire is usually a george design double-wrapper and a gorgeous igbo-style lace blouse or the Igbo traditional maiden wear (small piece of wrapper on the chest and waist), coral or statement beads necklace and a matching Ichafu head-tie.
The groom is not left out of this dress-up thing, his dons a well-tailored traditional wear which its fabric and colours compliments his wife’s; he also wears a long coral bead, and a hat (optional) – the Igbo traditional attire for men/ grooms is a special tunic top tailored with a special fabric called ‘isi agu’ worn over a pair of trousers, a red cap or black hat, and a fashion walking stick. Isi Agu means ‘lion head’ in Igbo language. Images of lion heads are printed all over the Isi Agu material/ fabric, hence that name.
What will your close friends wear to your Igba Nkwu ceremony? Close friends and family of the bride and groom would wear a uniform attire (popularly known as ‘aso ebi’ by Nigerians). Check out the latest aso-ebi styles for ideas if you plan to have your friends and family wear a uniformed fabric.
How to Tie Nigerian Wrapper: Igbo Double Wrapper, Yoruba Style & Knot Style (Video Tutorial)
6. Who Handles the Catering (Food and Drinks) During the Groom’s Visits?
I always get asked ‘who cooks during the marriage introduction and Igba Nkwu: the bride or groom’s family?’.
The bride’s family is the host during the marriage introduction and Igba Nkwu, and so is responsible for cooking for the bride’s suitor and his family, during all their visits. In some/ most cases, the groom provides the money to cover this cost, but where the bride’s family is wealthy, they may choose to cover the entire cost but it is of good taste for the groom to contribute to the cost. That is expected of him, as it is his wedding, and he is the one ‘calling’ the party.
Where the bride’s family is not wealthy, the groom (unofficially) provides money to the bride’s mother to cover the cost of catering (food and drinks) and hosting the guests. This cost can be kept low if they make it a parlour/ living room guest size and the bride herself can sit with her mother to make a budget/ cost how much money will be required to cook in-house for the number of people they will host. The bride will then communicate this cost to her groom.
The “Igba Nkwu” party reception costs much because the guest list is simply “everyone” in the bride’s village, plus the groom’s entourage. The major cause of the high cost of organizing Igba Nkwu is the cost of feeding the large guests. Usually, Igba Nkwu venues are not rented – the bride’s father’s residence at her ancestral hometown is used for free. In a previous post, I explained in detail the reasons why Nigerian weddings are expensive and what to do. You may want to check that out to pick a tip or two on what to do to cut down costs.
WEDDING FOOD IDEAS:
- How to Make Perfect Party Jollof Rice (plus Ingredients Measure for 100 Plates)
- How to Make Party Doughnuts from Scratch (plus Ingredients for 100 pieces)
- How to Make Samosa Small Chops for a Wedding Party (Easy Recipe and Video)
What Songs to Play During an Igbo Traditional Wedding?
A good DJ (Disc Jockey) that have previously catered to Igbo weddings would know the trending and classical songs (by Igbo musicians) suitable for an Igba Nkwu ceremony. Whether you plan to hire a DJ or have a friend or relative to take that role, to help you out, we made a post listing the Latest Igbo Traditional Wedding Songs Playlist at the moment.
Igba Nkwu Illustrated in a Nigerian Music Video
On a lighter mood, here’s one music you definitely should play on your ‘Igba Nkwu’ day (Nigeria’s Flavour in his “Ada Ada’ musical video). I like this Nigerian wedding song because the story-line in the video gives a good illustration of the igbo igba nkwu ceremony.
Takeaways: Igbo Traditional Marriage Procedure
This post concludes our series on the Igbo traditional marriage customs and tradition. If you read from part 1 to part 4, you should now have a good idea of how to go about preparing to marry an igbo bride – you first propose to her, then you ask for her parent’s consent, and finally, you ask for her extended family’s consent. You also know that most of the process is customary and symbolic. Once the parties involved give you their consent, you also know the rest of the Igbo traditional marriage preparatory stages – the bride price settlement (ime ego) and the formal traditional engagement and wedding party (igba nkwu).
UPDATES: I’ll keep adding new questions and answers to the list in this post. So, if you have a question that was not answered, add it in the comment section down below for a chance to get it answered.
Other Posts in the Series “Igbo Traditional Wedding Customs & Procedure”
This is part 4 and the final stage of the series “Stages & Process Involved in Igbo Traditional Marriage Ceremony” – you can read the other parts by clicking a link below:
- Part 1 – Igbo Traditional Marriage Ceremony Stages and Process (Overview)
- Part 2 – How to: Groom’s Customary Introductory Visits and Meeting with Igbo In-Laws (Asking for their Consent)
- Part 3 – Igba Nkwu/ Wine-Carrying Ceremony: Procedure and Customs
- Part 4 (THIS POST)– Answers to Frequently Asked Questions about the Igbo Marriage ceremony rites and processes
NOTE: We love Nigerian traditional weddings and would be thrilled for you to send us your ‘igba nkwu’ pictures to publish here on NaijaGlamWedding blog. *If you enjoyed reading, please help us share this post with your friends on Twitter/ Facebook/ by email and everywhere.
Now, tell me – if you’ve already completed the traditional marriage rites to marry an Ibo lady, is there anything we missed in the above guide? And, if you’re preparing to go for the Igbo introduction visit to your future in-laws, has this article helped you in any way?
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Kimberley says
How does the traditional ceremony work when an American bride is marrying an Igbo groom in his village?
Stella Anokam says
Hello Kimberly, In Nigeria, the traditional marriage is done according to the customs and traditions of the bride’s place of origin. So, in your case, your Igbo groom brings his parents and close family members to meet your parents, ask for your hand in marriage and marry you according to your country’s customs and traditions (and not his). *If it’s the case of an American man looking to marry a Nigerian woman, then the man would be required to come to her people, ask for their consent and do the wedding ceremonies in her ancestral home to marry her the Nigerian way.
So, in your case, the Igbo groom should be coming to your part of the World to do same, according to your tradition [and it’s okay to add bits and pieces of his Igbo customs into your wedding ceremony, if you choose to].
Wedding rites differ from place to place/ country to country.
It is your responsibility to tell him your American marriage traditions, no matter how simple or complex it is, so that your groom knows what to expect.
Hope that helps.
Very interesting Blog…….keep it up ma.
Thank you, Chidera.
Please how many times an Igbo bride changes her dress during her traditional wedding day when she’s getting married to a non Igbo guy?
There’s no rule about that. Some people do 2 outfit changes during their traditional wedding. Some do only one change and some change into 3 outfits. Generally, it depends on how many dresses you can afford to sew for your wedding.
What if d bride becomes pregnant four month to there traditional marriage can d still do it?
Tradition varies across Nigerian states and villages. I know that in some parts of Nigeria, if a bride falls pregnant, the traditional wedding is postponed to after the baby is delivered. In some parts, the traditional marriage can go on.
The best answer for how this is handled in your part of Nigeria or village should come from asking your parents/ cousins/ family elders.
Hope that helps.
Hello Mary, I don’t understand your question. But let me see – did you mean ‘after the traditional wedding is completed?’.
No, marriage certificate is not issued after the traditional wedding. While the Nigerian traditional wedding is recognized by the Government, it’s a family-organized and community-officiated ceremony, that is why. Couples who want marriage license after a traditional wedding could apply at the customary courts – I think there’s a provision for that.
Otherwise, most Nigerians do not do traditional weddings in isolation – they also do either the court registry wedding and/ or the Church (white) wedding, both of which offer marriage certificates right away.
Hope I answered your question? If not, please re-phrase?
DO YOU RECEIVE ANY CERTIFICATE OF MARRAGE AFTER THE Igbo MARRAGE IS COMPLETE ?
Hello Mary, I just answered your question, which you asked again here). Look in the comments section for that reply.
Thanks.
What attire do non-Igbo grooms wear during each stage of the Igbo traditional marriage?
Hi Florence, there’s no rule, but usually, non-igbos wear their own people’s traditional attire OR the Igbo traditional attire. The choice is the bride’s and groom’s. Read the comments section for more answers to similar questions from other readers. Thanks.
Plz dear who takes up d food expenses for d traditional wedding..d groom or the bride’s family?.. tnkx.
Hi Solanz, these days, most couples are the ones paying entire bills for the wedding.
What we see today is, usually, the groom or with his bride takes up the food bill. There used to be a traditional way of sharing bills but in most parts of the country, that does not usually hold anymore. >However, if your parents and/ or your wife’s parents are wealthy, they could, OF THEIR OWN WILL, DECIDE TO SUPPORT YOU WITH THE WEDDING CATERING (food and drinks) BILL, not for the bride and groom to impose it on them.
Today, it depends on what part of Nigeria you are from, and what the tradition/ customs dictate there – for example, some Yorubas still do it. Some families have a tradition of collectively taking care of wedding food and drinks. So, only you how fat is your and your bride’s parents pockets.
Although some parents still foot the wedding bills, not all the bills; but some part – only whereby the parents are wealthy. It used to be parents all-the-time paying for their children’s weddings in the olden days, because people married early and some do before they start working or making money.
Hope that helps.
pls can you explained to me how payment of dowry is been made among the Igbo & if there is any definite amount.
Hello Hephzibah,
Igbo bride price varies slightly from village to village, but generally has a specific amount. However, the bride price amount is only a small fraction of the Igbo traditional marriage list and rite. By the way, they are not as scary or as expensive as non-Igbos portray it.
– To see an example of what an Igbo marriage list is, read this (click). >>To get a good idea of the Igbo customary wedding stages and pre-wedding activities, right from Introduction and even before, read this (click).
The only way to know your bride’s dowry amount is to ASK your inlaws, during your preliminary and introductory visits – they are always happy to tell.
Hope this helps.
Good day Stella, my name is adaora and i’m new on this blog
my fiance and i r planning to get married by march 2018 but we dont have an idea to go about the budget, please i need your help
Best Regards
Hello Adaora, welcome to NaijaGlamWedding blog.
How much you’ll spend on your wedding will largely depend on the number of guests you invite – food and drinks would consume over half of your budget.
– So, start by setting aside the number of people you would like to have around.
– You’ll have to do some market survey/ pricing of things from vendors, so as to get current prices to work with.
– Catering Budget: Then calculate how much your feeding and drinks would cost for that number of people (ask caterers how much they would charge per plate/ guest for the food you plan to feed them, add average cost of drinks per person; AND finally multiply that by total number of guests you are looking at).
– Venue/ Hall Budget: Go around and price venues, and then narrow on top 3 that are within your like and affordability range. Add this price to the catering budget you calculated.
– Your outfits: Again, it’s only by pricing/ window shopping to get idea of current price.
– DJ, Decoration, Photography and others: Ask around
– Extra Money incase something comes up (add some loose cash, just in case).
Add up all the prices, and you’ll have your wedding budget.
NOTE: If the amount is too much, reduce the number of guests you plan on inviting, and re-calculate food and drinks cost, and then find a smaller venue (which should cost less) – that way, you can quickly and realistically get a budget close to the amount of money you and your fiancé have on hand.
We have a lot of posts here on wedding budget calculation steps and tips for reducing wedding costs.
The way about drawing up a wedding budget is towedding budget calculation stepstips for reducing wedding costs
Can the list be settled monetryly ,paying for the items instead of gettin them
Hi Jane. Yes, If the extended family agrees. It’s better to ask them first, as some people find it offensive/ degrading when a groom brings money to them instead of the LIST ITEMS. Just ask first.
Really a nice blog…looking forward to sending you some of my marriage pictures in the near future…kudos for a job well done…
Aww! You just made my day, Roseline. I’m glad that you like this our Naija wedding wedding blog 🙂
I’ll be looking forward to when you send us your wedding photos for features.
plz I need to know how igbos do their traditional marriage in the olden days. I just want to know what were involved the type of foods, clothes, hair do, and do they actually involved in flattening room once etc.
Hi Chichi, I don’t know much about the historic Igbo marriage culture and customs. Anyway, I found some information on that for you at Wikipedia (click here) and Igbo Guide website (click here). I hope that helps you.
Please how can I get the igbo Abuja traditional attire , if you know any makeup artist who provides one my location is abuja(but if the contact is in IMO or abia that’s fine by me. Thanks
Hey Vivian,
-Do you mean where to find pictures of Igbo attire styles or where to buy or rent?
-For makeup our list of artists in Abuja, Imo and everywhere else in Nigeria, check our Vendors list (click here). ALSO, you may come to NaijaGlamWedding’s Facebook group (click here) for wedding vendors and ask for bridal makeup artists – and see replies from the MUAs on our group.
Am a single yoruba man, intending to get married to an igbo girl, 4rm enugun state, dis post has really helped me a lot 2 understand what ibo marriage is all about, kudos 2 who rite dis up.
Hi Kola, I am glad to be of help – most non-Igbo people are of the perception that the igbo engagement list marriage ceremony are beyond affordable (which is wrong). Thank you very much for your candid feedback comments like yours ‘gingers’ me and my team to fire up more helpful DIY wedding planning tips. Welcome to NaijaGlamWedding.com blog, be sure to read more wedding planning tips for Nigerian grooms here (click).