About Stella Anokam

Stella is the founder and Editor of this blog (NaijaGlamWedding). Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Google+ and Pinterest. Submit your photos to be featured - it's FREE, because we love everything weddings, bridal showers, engagement shoots.

Comments

  1. HI Stella,
    I am an International and Local Wedding Planner in New York. I was asked to plan and coordinate my first White Nigerian Wedding with a guest list of 400. The groom is American and his future bride is Nigerian. I am truly excited about this because I love the culture and attire, and always wanted to start doing Nigerian Weddings. My question to you.
    The bride informed me that once they start planning, I do not have to attend the traditional wedding and marriage in Nigerian, they both only want me to concentrate on their White wedding here in the USA. Is this okay, they felt that I will not be needed abroad.

    • Hi Hazel, I am finally getting to your comment (after my earlier response to your questions). Below is my thought:

      Some people like to have an intimate, family-and-few-friends-only Traditional wedding party, but then most Nigerians do it big (huge guest list). Maybe that’s what your client is going for OR
      -Maybe they don’t want or have a budget to take care of your travel and accommodation to Nigeria for their trad wedding; OR
      -they want a nothing-goes-wrong white wedding day in the USA, and are afraid that your taking time off to attend their trad wedding could compromise the quality of wedding you deliver for them.

      But then, I think, you could build more knowledge and experience for the niche (Nigerian Wedding planning) if you attend their trad wedding. >You may want to calm their fears by letting them know that you really want to witness it, and would arrange and pay your own flight and accommodation in Nigeria; and that your brief time off to the event would not take away from the quality of your delivery of their white wedding.

      Hope that helps.

  2. Sydney Reeves says:

    Hello. My name is Sydney. I’m doing a project for honors 10th literature, and was wondering if i could use the information from this site in my presentation. The presentation is about Ibo ceremony’s. I am doing wedding ceremony’s. Two other people in my group are doing death ceremony’s and naming ceremony’s. If i could get your permission to use the information. If I could that would be amazing. Thank you.

    • Hello Sydney, thanks for asking – it’s the honorable and ethical thing to do.

      We only permit fair use of our information brief excerpts, quotes ON THE CONDITION THAT you give appropriate credit to this website AND provide a link to this website or specific page(s) referenced or where information was obtained. >So, yes, you can use our information and adapt it to your presentation, but be sure to give us credit.

      We do not allow full lifting or copying of entire paragraphs, or entire articles. This blog is licensed under is a copyright-protected website.

  3. hello please i would like to know if all stages can be done together since my husband to be is not based in same location with me.

  4. Is it a tradition in Nigeria that the older siblings are to get married first?

    • Hi Kerry. No, it is not a tradition in Nigeria for younger siblings to get married after their older siblings have done so. >Every time, here in Nigerian families, plenty of younger siblings are getting married before their older sisters; and also plenty of older sisters are getting married before their younger sisters. >It depends on who finds a husband first.

  5. Hi. I’m a Hispanic woman marrying and Igbo man here in America. I’d like to ask if there is a way to incorporate both Igbo and Mexican American traditions? I’d like to have both of our cultures represented at our wedding. I’d appreciate any feedback you can give me. Thank you and God bless.

    • Hello Maria, thanks for reading our article on the stages of Igbo traditional marriage ceremony. Now, here is my answers to your question:

      Of course, you can introduce or fuse your Mexican culture and traditions into your own wedding – it’s your day!

      Just so you know:
      -The tradition in Nigeria is for the traditional marriage to hold in the bride’s home (usually, her ancestral home/ village home, where her parents originate from).
      -On fusing Cultures: Go ahead, make your wedding YOU & HIM – play Mexican music and Nigerian music. Serve Mexican food and Nigerian food. Wear Mexican outfits and Nigerian outfits. >>This sort culture fusion at weddings is done every time by Nigerian brides marrying Nigerian men of a tribe (or language) different from theirs. >It’s also done by Nigerian men marrying women of other cultures outside Nigeria. >Recently, I saw a wedding video of a Nigerian man who went to India to marry his bride (the Indian traditional wedding, of course) – first, he wore the Indian attire for men; and at some point, he changed into his native Nigerian attire).

      Finally, remember that you are the bride and according to Nigerian customs, a bride’s traditional wedding holds in her parents’ home, according to her people’s culture. So, unless you choose, you are not obliged to do a Nigerian traditional wedding.

      However, if you choose to, yes, you may – and you may customize it with your own Mexican culture or however you choose.

      Hope that helps.

  6. It has been a while since I have seen a new post. I hope you are still monitoring this site. I have been offered marriage from a man who lives in Lagos, Nigeria who is from Port Hartcourt. I live in the United States. I did not see anywhere in your article where the woman is supposed to give a dowry. I only saw that the man was. I was asked to give one and thought it sort of odd and non traditional. Can you help me to understand if this is supposed to be or not? I am very confused. Thanks

    • Hello Alicia. Good to see you around 🙂 You are right – it’s been long I updated, but YES, I am still monitoring the blog, and would soon start posting frequently again. So stick around 🙂

      On to your question, here’s my answer: In Nigeria, the tradition and custom requires the man to pay dowry/ bride price in order to take a wife. Women do not pay dowry (not done anywhere in Nigeria), it is the other way round.

      So, that man must be playing you. He lied to you.

      • Thank you so much for your response. I’ve told him I have not heard the tradition or custom for Nigeria ever changing and of course, he got angry. I’ve since stopped all communication with him as I knew he was lying. His mother and his sister were angry with me for not agreeing to marry him. I told them, “Why would I marry a liar?”

        Thank you so much for answering. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

        • Hello Alicia,

          Thanks for your feedback. I am glad my reply could help, and I look forward to your reading more of my articles.
          I wish you the very best – it shall be well with you. Please, know that there a so many honest and loving Nigerian men out there.

  7. Hi Stella,

    I am a Nigerian woman, my boyfriend is American. He has just had the first meeting with my parents to announce his intentions. My question is: when can he actually propose to me (get down on one knee, etc)? Can that happen now? Does it have to happen after all 4 steps of the process have been completed? Any advice you can provide would be great!

    Thank you,
    AA

    • Hi AA, welcome here, and congrats on your BF making that bold step.

      He can propose now. Proposal does not have to be after those 4 steps. Rather, those steps should commence after the proposal, as they are steps to the wedding (traditional and white).

      Wishing you the most amazing proposal.

  8. Hi, please I want to know about an igbo man marrying from another country. I am a Ghanaian dating an igbo guy from nsukka in enugu state. will marrying him be difficult, or rather, what should I expect from that marriage?

    • Hello Cecilia. Thanks for your question.
      Here, we focus on providing wedding planning tips, and not relationship advice. You alone are in the best position to know what marriage would be like with your Igbo guy. That’s because since dating him, you already know what his character is like and whether he is a difficult person. Therefore, sit down and analyse whether he’s a good fit for you. THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING A ANGBO MAN – THE SAME APPLIES IF HE WAS A GHANAIAN OR FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD – you alone will access whether marrying the guy would be a fit with what you expect.

      Once you decide to go a ahead with a wedding, you can come and read our many wedding planning tips. Thanks for stopping by.

  9. ANI JOSEPH says:

    helo bros my name is ANI JOE I red ur sites up online concerning marriage rites in some parts of Nigeria and in other parts of the world,this is a very great job u have done so far,pls bros I want to ask are u from Igbo land if u are pls tell me how ENUGU people do their own becouse my wife to be is from that state but myself am not from there

    • Hello Joseph. Welcome here and thanks for reading.
      Enugu people are Igbos and so their marriage rites are done in much the same way as other Igbos, as described in this post. And, you can always ask your wife-to-be to explain more to you. Thanks.

  10. Thanks, your article was enlightening, Few questions pls
    1. Can stage 1 & 2 be combined,
    2. Can stage 3 (ime ego) be done without the groom and bride physically present
    3. My lady and her family live in Lagos, can we do stage 1-3 in the village and do stage 4 in lagos?
    thanks, i appreciate the write up.

    • Hi Jacks, thanks for reading and for your questions.

      Yes, stages 1 and 2 can be combined – most people do that, especially when they can’t find time off work to do several travels to the lady’s village.
      Yes, stage 4 can be done where her father resides, if you do the previous stages at her village.
      But then, it’s a good idea to let her father/ parents know how you intend to go about it.

  11. Stella Ebere Oparaugo says:

    please, kindly find out Umuororonj traditional marriage procedure for me. thanks

  12. Great job you have done here. This is truly commendable. I noticed that in a few places in your write up, you used “Igbo traditional Marriage and Ibo woman”. “Marry an Igbo woman and ibo engagements” Please verify and correct.

    • Hello Obi, thanks for coming around:) And thanks also for pointing that out – it was deliberate. I’m igbo (too) and I know that some people call ‘us’ ‘Ibo’ people – very common when speaking pidgin English. Haha. So, that was my own fun way to identify with people who mis-call ‘us’ without knowing it. However, it’s not out of disrespect to our people. Again, thanks for taking the time to read every tiny detail – I appreciate greatly:) Hope to see you around more.

  13. Egbekunle Michael says:

    Hi, Am planing doing my engagement next year february and my wife to be she from ungbopala local government area of imo state. please i need to know the cost of the program and all items i need to buy for the ceremony. Please i need urgent reply. Thanks

    • Hi Michael, I guess you meant ‘Ngo Okpala’. See this article on the Igbo Engagement Ceremony List (click) – it lists the things you would be buying to take to your Igbo inlaws during your traditional engagement.

      The way to get an idea of what your Ibo traditional engagement will cost you is to (1) PRINT THE ABOVE LIST, and (2) Go to the market and price each one. After that, you should add up all the cost – that is your traditional introduction budget. **NOTE THAT: the above list is general across Igboland, and may vary slightly from what your inlaws will give you – it is mandatory to formally ask for it. This article is intended to give you an idea and prepare you on how much to budget. Hope you get it?

    • If I’m black American woman with four kids can I marry a igbo guy and have a igbo traditional marriage or is that not acceptable in Nigerian

      • Hi Denisha, welcome to our Nigerian Weddings blog. Sure, re-marriage is acceptable in Igbo-land, and also everywhere in Nigeria. An igbo man is allowed to bring home any woman of his choice for marriage. So, yes – with any number of kids, you can marry an igbo man. Such marriages happen all the time. Good luck.

      • Thanks Stella Anokam I really appreciate you taking the time to reply to my post

        • It’s my pleasure, Denisha. We’re here to serve – my team and I. Enjoy your day.

          • hi stella, im a yoruba girl getting married to an igbo guy can i still do wine carrying when i change to my ibo attire? wedding is nxt month

          • Hello Seun, first. let me congratulate you on your coming-soon wedding. Now, let me answer your question:
            >Traditionally, No, you won’t be doing wine-carrying, as traditionally, a groom-to-be performs the marriage rites required by the bride’s people. Since you are Yoruba, he will be marrying you according to your people’s tradition (you are the bride). [But there’s a subtle way you can, scroll down to see my explanation].
            >However, you may want to do a non-traditional wine carrying, when you change attire – I’ve seen that happen, and that is if your people will understand that it’s just for the show. You know, these days brides especially are borrowing traditional wedding styles across the country, to make their big day more personalised and different. I’ve seen Ibo brides add transparent veils to their attire, and have their groom-to-be lift it off their face during their trad (that’s borrowed from Yoruba weddings).
            >Here are more ideas for styling an inter-tribal Naija wedding like yours: you may want your wedding day (trad and white wedding reception) to have a look-and-feel of both cultures. And some of the ways to do that is by the couple wearing outfits from both cultures (outfit 1 -Yoruba, and outfit 2 -Igbo attire), playing some Youruba and some Igbo music, serving some Yoruba Food and some Igbo food; some Igbo-style aso-ebi PLUS some Yoruba-style aso-ebi, and maybe also doing an igbo + yoruba-themed traditional wedding decor.
            >>Traditionally, wine-carrying is only done when the bride-to-be is an Igbo lady (it’s the Igbo way of giving out their daughter’s for marriage, and the Yoruba’s and every other tribe have their own way).

  14. Calistus Okechukwu says:

    Hi, pls I write to find out on how to go about my forth coming white/traditional marriage. The two event is coming up the same day, at the same venue. Pls I need your guide on the stages iinvolved, from the church to the bride’s place Till the end of event.
    Thanks.

  15. How many times is the bride expected to change?

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