About Stella Anokam

Stella is the founder and Editor of this blog (NaijaGlamWedding). Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Google+ and Pinterest. Submit your photos to be featured - it's FREE, because we love everything weddings, bridal showers, engagement shoots.


  1. Hi I’m Bola but I’m in a relationship with an igbo guy that I would like to get married to later in the future, but he isn’t so familiar with our culture…I want to ask is it compulsory that the grooms father will prostrate for the bride’s family while the mother will kneel to greet the bride’s family?? Can’t it just be that only the groom and his friends that would prostrate to greet the bride family???he isn’t so comfortable with his father prostrating and it’s getting me worried

    • Dear Bola, I feel your pain in this matter. I’m not Yoruba and so I reached out to my Yoruba peeps, and here’s what they say:
      -that it is compulsory for groom’s parents to prostrate/ kneel when greeting the bride’s parents, no matter who they are.
      -one wedding planner told me about a wedding where the groom’s father is a prince, and was seen not to prostrate to his in-laws.
      -they advice that in a case where the groom (with his parents) are not Yorubas, the groom should make out time to inform and educate them about this, in advance.
      >Groom should let them know that ‘prostrating and kneeling’ action does not signify that the Yoruba inlaws are in any way superior to them, but that kneeling and prostrating is a normal and general Yoruba style of greeting, just like handshaking is the whiteman’s way of greeting.
      >The groom should let his parents know that even the bride’s Yoruba parents prostrate and kneel to greet other people.
      >Your groom should let the parents know that the Yorubas view that gesture (kneeling and prostrating) as a sign that their non-Yoruba inlaws wholly accept their son marrying a Yoruba woman, and also accept their culture.

      Finally, ask your groom to plead with his parents to go on this journey with him, letting them know how important their support means to him.

      **I have seen videos of white grooms and their parents doing the prostrating and kneeling, and heard how they didn’t find the ideas funny at first, but had to do it for their son’s sake.

      Hope that helps. I wish you both all the best.

  2. Fasusi Ojo Oluwadamilare says

    Please I am David by name please I went to my inlaw to collect the engagement for my fiancee but to my surprise the dowry was #100,000 naira in a Yoruba land how possible is it if I may ask

    • Hello Fasusi, thanks for reading. That’s surprising, but who knows if their village elders have reviewed the dowry. I am sure not all Yoruba villages have the same, exact amount for dowry.
      >It’s a tricky situation. You could find distance elderly uncles who know that village to help you find out, but then, it could also look like you’re saying your future father-inlaw is lying *which could be termed ‘disrespectful’ and spoil your future relationship).

      >Another way is to try and do the dowry without questions. It’s likely that he may refund it to you, like some Yoruba father-inlaws do.

      Or discuss it with your father or an elderly uncle, to see if they think it’s a good idea to escort you to ask for a downward review.

  3. Hi!
    Your articles have really been helpful!
    My heartthrob is a Cross-riverian and I’m Igbo by tribe. We just started making some plans for our day. We planned wearing both of our native outfits in our traditional marriage. Sadly, I’m not so much into any of the cultures so I have some few questions:
    ×× What should be the suggested initial attire (for himself and for myself).
    He was thinking of appearing in his native attire. According to Babe, I’m supposed to come welcome and his people with my own Cross-river attire before I change to mine. But from some of your posts, I realised I’m not yet a Cross-riverian as the traditional marriage rites have not been carried out.
    And he planned changing into my Igbo attire for the rest of the event. Of which I have my matching attire for it too.
    How do I reconcile the two with opportunities to take cool pictures in our 2 native attired?

    ×× Secondly, whose cultural responsibility is it to sponsor the traditional marriage?
    My hubby or my family?

    ×× Finally, in the first three visits the groom is supposed to make to the bride-to-be’s home, are there official attires the bride and is supposed to be in? If there are, what should they look like?

    Thank you ma’am!

    • Hello Jindu, welcome here and thanks for the feedback. Now, onto your questions:
      -GROOM’S ASKING VISITS: For most Nigerian states and places, there are no specified outfits for the bride when the groom-to-be visits bride’s family to make his marriage intentions known. It’s not even necessary for the bride-to-be to make the trips with him, unless she can make the time and wants to. The MARRIAGE INQUIRY VISITS are traditionally the groom’s affair, with his close family reps.
      -WHO PAYS FOR THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE PARTY EVENT: Traditionally, some parts of Nigeria specify and others don’t. For instance, with the YORUBAS, the bride’s family hosts and pays. But sometimes a bride’s family is not financially able to pay for the traditional marriage party, and such brides either provide the money to their parents from her pocket or in joint provision with the groom. >These days, most couples are paying for their own weddings. >However, it’s a good idea to ask your parents if and how they can contribute to your trad wedding.
      -ORDER OF OUTFIT CHANGES: My dear, there are no rules to this – the couple plan how they want it, and I think your guy’s plan sounds awesome.

      Hope the above reply helps. I wish you all the best at it.

  4. princess adeshola says

    i so much love your article. please madam, i have questions.
    my wedding is in three months time and we plan to go for traditional and engagement same day,is it possible to change dress after the traditional to engagement dress.
    2nd qust is about the Mc and the alaga iduro,because am yoruba my husband to be is edo,and you know most of this alaga make a weeding perfect more that s for me oo.and with what i have witness.

    • Hello Princess, thanks for the feedback on our Nigerian wedding planning articles. Here’s my reply:
      -Yes, it is possible to do dress changes during your traditional wedding or engagement ceremony. Many brides do that.
      -What’s your question about Alaga and MC? You did not seem to ask it.

  5. this article was helpful… am a Yoruba lady marrying an igbo guy…. am still having issues with our dressing what I will wear and what he will wear doing the traditional wedding/engagement for us to look good together… I won’t want a dress change

    • thanks for the positive feedback, Bunmi. Well, the best way to decide on what to wear on your wedding day is to look at pictures from the type of wedding you’re planning – look at plenty pictures, note/ mark the outfits that you really like. Places to find wedding outfit pictures include magazines, websites like here (NaijaGlamWedding.com), BellaNaijaWeddings, Pinterest, Instagram. Also, if you want to check everywhere, simply GOOGLE it.
      >Do this for about a week or two, and then sit down and choose your best 10. After that, look at those 10 again, and choose the best 3. Finally, review those 3 wedding-day wears and choose the outfit you like most.

  6. Thanks for the tips,I read through all and its so helpful.. Am an intending Yoruba bride with a Edo husband to be.My Traditional and White is fixed for a Day,so my questions are:-During the Traditional in the morning is it possible to change into 2wears and also cut engagement cake within same 3hours(7-10),while church commences by 10am..2nd question is for d reception,when should d couple change from their wedding gown/suit from church into their Engagement dress wore in d morning????

    • Dear Betty, thanks for the feedback on our Nigerian wedding tips and advice, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

      – It is possible to finish up in 3 hours, including cake-cutting. They key is to ensure that your people can deliver – items required at every stage should not be on-the-way, but ready and on the venue early before the start of the event. Also, the MC should be made to stick to time, and not doing plenty comedy which consumes time. >The important people in the trad wedding should be informed to be on time. >>If all those things happen, you can do it in the 3 hours.
      – The time for couple’s outfit change at the reception could be when food is being served to guests (so they are busy eating and not focusing on the couples), or after cutting the white wedding cake.

  7. Emmanuel Chukwuma says

    My name is Emmanuel. Your article has really been helpful. However, i have two questions to ask.
    1: can Cash be accepted in stead of providing all the items in every category?
    2: If yes, give me a rough estimate of how much a young man like me should budget before heading on this beautiful adventure. Thank you

    • Hi Emmanuel, thanks for reading our tips on what Grooms should know when planning a Yoruba wedding.

      On a rough estimate, you can’t know UNTIL you collect the list from her family (just ask); you cannot make a budget based on á list your friend was given during his own. The only way is to get the pricing from where you live (as price of items are not the same everywhere). *But then, you can make an ESTIMATE to gauge, using our sample Yoruba traditional marriage list here.

      Presenting cash in place of all items in a customary marriage list is considered and insult, and traditionally unacceptable. Going for your traditional engagement empty-handed would make them not welcome you. Why would you do that? If you do not have time to shop the items, have a family member (an Aunt or your mom or sister) or close friend do the shopping for you.

      However, with some pleading, they MAY accept cash only for a few items that you may have forgotten to get, or was very difficult to find. In a case like that, it is better to inform a close family member of your wife-to-be in advance, so that s/he can put in some word for you with their people.sample Yoruba traditional marriage list here

      • Tnx so much for your article, pls I need an answer to dis question which is I am a Yoruba lady about to marry an Edo man pls wat attire will I wear?

        • Hi Funmi,

          You should wear your people’s (YORUBA) traditional wedding outfit. If you like, you can have a dress change to change into Edo wear – but if you like, you can only wear your Yoruba native traditional marriage dressing.

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