Are you preparing for a Yoruba traditional wedding engagement/ ceremony and have questions about how to organize the flow of events or programme? This post has questions we received from some readers who live abroad and the answers are provided by our Yoruba wedding planner friend, Mrs Simisola Nwanze.
She provides a bullet-list of program of events, answers questions about when to have an outfit change, suggests what to do if you don’t have a live-talking drummer, what to do if you cannot afford having 2 Alagas, and more.
To make sure that you ‘get it’, I included a fun video from a Yoruba Traditional engagement ceremony, so that you can see the order/ flow of program-of-events in action. Now, swipe or scroll down to get right into it.
SIDENOTE: This post is our response to one of our Yoruba Europe-based readers. She was planning a Yoruba Traditional Engagement and Wedding abroad, and could not find certain Yoruba wedding vendors and live band where she lived. So, she wanted ideas on how to improvise so that they experience every single activity lined up in typical Yoruba wedding programme of events in Nigeria.
She also let us know that her wedding would be an Inter-Cultural one, since she was going to marry an Igbo man. She also wanted answers on the flow of events, when it’s an Inter-Tribal Traditional Engagement/ Wedding Ceremony.
Since I am not Yoruba, I decided to get my Yoruba wedding planner friend, Mrs. Sunmisola Nwanze (CEO of Shine Events), to provide answers. She’s the most qualified person I could think of to help this bride. Besides, having a Yoruba traditional engagement, which was also an inter-cultural wedding (her husband is Igbo).
Also, Mrs. Nwanze has years of experience with helping couples organize a stress-free Yoruba traditional and white weddings. Swipe or scroll down to read the questions and answers.
So, over to Sunmisola (our expert of the day)…
Congratulations to the sister getting who is married. Like you, my husband is Igbo and I am a Yoruba woman. I got married in a traditional Yoruba wedding, and as a wedding planner, I have helped many Yoruba brides plan memorable customary engagement ceremonies, as well as planned the order of events in their Yoruba traditional wedding programme. So, I will just tell you how best to go about it, and there are fun ways to.
1. How long does a typical Yoruba traditional wedding (program of events) last?
The entire event typically lasts a maximum of 3 hours or less. The separate events in your traditional wedding program of events should add up to about that.
2. What is the correct order or flow of events at a typical Yoruba traditional wedding?
Here’s the correct flow/ order in the program at Yoruba traditional wedding events:
- The bride’s family is seated
- The groom’s family enters (with dancing and talking drum) and greets the bride’s family and are introduced. Then, they’re all seated opposite the bride’s family;
- The groom enters (with dancing) and greets her family, then they pray for her and bless her;
- The bride enters (with dancing) and greets her parents, then turns (with dancing) to greet the groom’s parents. They put the veil over her;
- The bride moves to greet the groom’s parents, they unveil her, and then pray for her;
- The bride moves (with dancing) to greet her groom
- Then, the bride gets seated beside her groom
- Cake cutting: Couple cut their traditional wedding cake and feed each other with cake
- Dancing time: Dancing Dancing Dancing
- Food is Served to everyone (however, small chops may be served earlier as the previous events/ marriage rites were going on, to ensure people do not get too hungry. A good time to start serving small chops is when the bride first enters the wedding venue/ hall). If the event starts early and is taking long, eating can start earlier, else you can schedule meal-time to the usual ‘after dancing’.
To see the flow of events at a real Yoruba wedding, check out the video below.
3. What Does a Yoruba Wedding Programme Look Like?
Watch the short video clip below to see a Yoruba traditional wedding in Action.
4. What is an Alaga and What’s their Role at a Yoruba Traditional Wedding?
The role of an Alaga is key and very important in any Yoruba wedding, as you’ll soon find out. You need to hire one. Simply put, an Alaga is a wedding officiant or moderator or Master of Ceremony (MC) for a customary Yoruba traditional wedding.
A good Alaga makes a Yoruba traditional wedding more fun. By the way, an Alaga knows the order and flow of events at Yoruba traditional/ customary engagement ceremonies. That is one of the reasons they are hired. You don’t need to know what the program of events should look like, your Alaga will walk everyone through it.
As part of their roles, Alagas move the ceremony from one event to another, announcing what goes on next and next – until the end.
The above is an Alaga in action, officiating a Yoruba traditional wedding while adding drama and singing as they do.
FUN TIP: Have your Alaga help you draw out the programme of events for your Yoruba traditional wedding. Alagas are pretty good at it. So, even if you or your parents are unfamiliar with the scheduling programme of events for your Yoruba traditional engagement, don’t worry, your Alaga will walk you all through it in a fun way.
Also, Alagas are also very entertaining – most sing very well and add some comedy here and there. In short, it is a must to have an Alaga at a Yoruba wedding.
5. Can I use only 1 Alaga for my Yoruba wedding?
Yes. It’s ideal and more fun to have 2 different Alagas conduct a Yoruba traditional wedding, as there will an exchange of pleasantries, details, and communication of the marriage intentions. Also, for inter-tribal or inter-cultural weddings with a Yoruba bride, two Alagas are usually used for the ceremony.
The role of the two Alaga is to coordinate communications between each family side. Alaga Iduro is the name for the groom’s family alaga and Alaga Ijoko refers to the bride’s family alaga.
If for some reason, you are not able to hire 2 alagas, it’s okay to have only 1 alaga. Many couples do it and it doesn’t spoil anything. What happens is that this Alaga would be required to play two roles interchangeably (as the bride’s family spokesperson, and also as the groom’s family alaga).
See more of an Alaga officiating a Yoruba traditional wedding (video below).
6. Must I have a talking drummer for my Yoruba traditional wedding? What is the alternative IF I cannot find a talking drummer where I live?
An alternative to the talking drums is to get a pre-recorded African/ Nigerian Yoruba music. You can also use a keyboard/ piano that has sound effects/ beats – find someone to set it up for you. You can play either in place of a talking drum at your Yoruba traditional engagement/ wedding ceremony.
7. When should a couple change outfits to second wedding attire (during a Yoruba traditional wedding)?
For me, during my traditional engagement, I did not do change to Igbo traditional wedding attire. That was a few years ago, but these days brides are doing multiple wedding outfit changes and it’s beautiful.
The right time for a Yoruba bride to change into a second outfit is after she has worn her traditional wedding ring, and the cake has been cut. On her way out for the outfit change, she can take quick pictures with her hubby before returning back to the traditional wedding reception hall.
On her return back to the wedding venue, she should be escorted in – either her groom can dance in with her. Alternatively, she may dance in with her friends (ore Iyawo, in Yoruba language) or with her groom’s female family members.
8. Must the Groom Change to a Second Traditional Wedding Attire?
The groom does not need to do an outfit change; he may wear the same attire for the entire event.
- SEE ALSO: Latest Agbada Styles for Men and Yoruba Grooms
- ALSO: Male Wedding Guest Outfit Types and Cute Style Ideas
9. If the Groom is Not a Yoruba, Is a Second Outfit Change Necessary?
For an inter-tribal or inter-cultural wedding with a Yoruba lady, at the point when the bride changes into her second traditional wedding attire, her groom may either remain in the same first attire OR change into his own tribe’s/ culture’s traditional wedding attire.
A fun idea for a groom’s first outfit is a matching Yoruba traditional wedding attire with his bride. You can get ideas of couples’ matching traditional wedding attires in our Latest Aso-Oke Designs and Styles.
Conclusion: Order of Events for a Yoruba Traditional Wedding Programme?
That’s it on how to schedule a Yoruba traditional wedding/ engagement program. Now that you have an idea of how/ what a Yoruba customary wedding process looks like from start to finish, I hope you are confident about creating your own programme of the event.
If you’re a ‘Yoruba’ bride who is not very familiar with your culture, OR if you’re a non-Yoruba groom from other cultures of the World, hopefully, the answers above can help you schedule your own traditional Yoruba wedding/ engagement programme of events.
The above tips are also helpful for our Yoruba sisters who did not grow up at home and not familiar with how a Yoruba traditional engagement is done.
Now you have an idea of what goes on during a Yoruba traditional wedding. We will provide more helpful tips you can use to plan your Yoruba traditional wedding, hang around to see the follow-up articles.
Did we miss anything regarding the order or flow of events during a typical Yoruba traditional engagement or wedding? If so, comment below to add your own tips or simply comment to add your voice.
About Sunmisola Nwanze: Answers in this article was provided by one of our friend, Mrs. Sunmisola Nwanze. She is the CEO SHINE Events in Lagos (they travel anywhere your wedding is). As a specialist Nigerian wedding planner, Sunmisola helps brides-to-be make their wedding day dreams come true by doing all the legwork for you so that you don’t have to lift a finger and still have a glam wedding that your guests will always remember. She makes finding the best wedding vendors a snap, with her years in the business and territory, she knows the best vendors, waiters, and ushers within any budget you have. To hire Shine Events to plan your wedding, call Sunmisola on 08027736616 or 07033283595 (add country code is 234 if you’re outside Nigeria); OR Email her at [email protected]; or find her on Instagram.
My name is Olatokunbo
Pls help me to choose the family attires and aso ebi attires, the bride and groom attires is Royal blue and gold, so wat color should family and aso ebi use.
Must I get a wedding planner?
Hi Olatokumbo, welcome to NaijaGlamWedding blog. Here’s my reply to your questions:
1) No, you must not hire a paid wedding planner. If you decide not to, you have to pick a few people (friends and family/ relatives) to help you with the planning.
2) Nice colour combo you have selected there. On colour combo ideas for your family and aso-ebi, look through hundreds of colour combinations listed in my colour combination guides here. I am sure you’ll find some colour combinations that will suit them.
*Also, you can pick from my featured celebrity wedding aso-ebi colour combinations – you know that our celebs engage top fashion stylists to choose their wedding guest outfit fabrics and colours, and I featured them for you to choose from.
So, look through and let me know what you choose.
I am seyi, my parents decides not to hire alaga iduro/ijoko for my traditional engagement because the engagement is expected to be done on a low-key, possibly using a big room for this, and they do not provide any alternative to this either, my question is: how is the order or flow of events going to be because someone must coordinate such programme, otherwise the whole period could be too dull for my liking. Please help.
Hello Seyi, I agree that someone has to officiate/ coordinate the wedding programme. A sample order/ flow of events is already provided on the above post. It’s the number 2 question (what is the correct order of events), with a bullet list of program of events. Please scroll up to see it.
You may be able to relate to the flow used by a couple that recently did a low-key Yoruba traditional wedding without an Alaga. So, when I got your question, I reached out to the bride, Temitope, on Instagram to ask her how they pulled theirs off. Her reply was:
They didn’t have an Alaga. Her dad’s elder sister moderated the engagement, and only asked everyone to introduce themselves, after that their parents blessed them, and finally, they took pictures. She said it was a brief ceremony, with everything lasting between 30 and 45 minutes.
We recently featured their picture-perfect micro wedding here on this blog. They had the most beautiful low-key Yoruba traditional and white wedding during this pandemic. You can check it out to pick an idea or two on how they pulled it off.
I understand how you feel – Alagas make Yoruba trad weddings exciting. I also understand your parents’ angle, as per keeping the lowest number of attendants to guarantee safety in time of the pandemic.
Don’t worry, your event will still turn out amazing, without an Alaga. Just be sure to make up by getting a quality photographer, because the best-captured photos will make a no-Alaga wedding look better than you imagined. Also get a great DJ or music playlist to turn up the fun and excitement.
Let me know how the above tips help.
Very interesting write-up
Please I want to know if it’s part of Yoruba culture that the groom buys clothes for the bride’s parent to wear for their traditional marriage.
Hello Segun, it is not Yoruba culture, but if the bride’s parents cannot afford to buy new outfits for your wedding and the groom is willing and capable, he can buy for them.
So, it’s not compulsory, but if you have money and feel like helping, you can support them to look nice at your event.
This reply was supplied by Yoruba members of our wedding community, as I am not Yoruba.
Hi I’m Bola but I’m in a relationship with an igbo guy that I would like to get married to later in the future, but he isn’t so familiar with our culture…I want to ask is it compulsory that the grooms father will prostrate for the bride’s family while the mother will kneel to greet the bride’s family?? Can’t it just be that only the groom and his friends that would prostrate to greet the bride family???he isn’t so comfortable with his father prostrating and it’s getting me worried
Dear Bola, I feel your pain in this matter. I’m not Yoruba and so I reached out to my Yoruba peeps, and here’s what they say:
-that it is compulsory for groom’s parents to prostrate/ kneel when greeting the bride’s parents, no matter who they are.
-one wedding planner told me about a wedding where the groom’s father is a prince, and was seen not to prostrate to his in-laws.
-they advice that in a case where the groom (with his parents) are not Yorubas, the groom should make out time to inform and educate them about this, in advance.
>Groom should let them know that ‘prostrating and kneeling’ action does not signify that the Yoruba inlaws are in any way superior to them, but that kneeling and prostrating is a normal and general Yoruba style of greeting, just like handshaking is the whiteman’s way of greeting.
>The groom should let his parents know that even the bride’s Yoruba parents prostrate and kneel to greet other people.
>Your groom should let the parents know that the Yorubas view that gesture (kneeling and prostrating) as a sign that their non-Yoruba inlaws wholly accept their son marrying a Yoruba woman, and also accept their culture.
Finally, ask your groom to plead with his parents to go on this journey with him, letting them know how important their support means to him.
**I have seen videos of white grooms and their parents doing the prostrating and kneeling, and heard how they didn’t find the ideas funny at first, but had to do it for their son’s sake.
Hope that helps. I wish you both all the best.
Please I am David by name please I went to my inlaw to collect the engagement for my fiancee but to my surprise the dowry was #100,000 naira in a Yoruba land how possible is it if I may ask
Hello Fasusi, thanks for reading. That’s surprising, but who knows if their village elders have reviewed the dowry. I am sure not all Yoruba villages have the same, exact amount for dowry.
>It’s a tricky situation. You could find distance elderly uncles who know that village to help you find out, but then, it could also look like you’re saying your future father-inlaw is lying *which could be termed ‘disrespectful’ and spoil your future relationship).
>Another way is to try and do the dowry without questions. It’s likely that he may refund it to you, like some Yoruba father-inlaws do.
Or discuss it with your father or an elderly uncle, to see if they think it’s a good idea to escort you to ask for a downward review.
Hi!
Your articles have really been helpful!
My heartthrob is a Cross-riverian and I’m Igbo by tribe. We just started making some plans for our day. We planned wearing both of our native outfits in our traditional marriage. Sadly, I’m not so much into any of the cultures so I have some few questions:
×× What should be the suggested initial attire (for himself and for myself).
He was thinking of appearing in his native attire. According to Babe, I’m supposed to come welcome and his people with my own Cross-river attire before I change to mine. But from some of your posts, I realised I’m not yet a Cross-riverian as the traditional marriage rites have not been carried out.
And he planned changing into my Igbo attire for the rest of the event. Of which I have my matching attire for it too.
How do I reconcile the two with opportunities to take cool pictures in our 2 native attired?
×× Secondly, whose cultural responsibility is it to sponsor the traditional marriage?
My hubby or my family?
×× Finally, in the first three visits the groom is supposed to make to the bride-to-be’s home, are there official attires the bride and is supposed to be in? If there are, what should they look like?
Thank you ma’am!
Hello Jindu, welcome here and thanks for the feedback. Now, onto your questions:
-GROOM’S ASKING VISITS: For most Nigerian states and places, there are no specified outfits for the bride when the groom-to-be visits bride’s family to make his marriage intentions known. It’s not even necessary for the bride-to-be to make the trips with him, unless she can make the time and wants to. The MARRIAGE INQUIRY VISITS are traditionally the groom’s affair, with his close family reps.
-WHO PAYS FOR THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE PARTY EVENT: Traditionally, some parts of Nigeria specify and others don’t. For instance, with the YORUBAS, the bride’s family hosts and pays. But sometimes a bride’s family is not financially able to pay for the traditional marriage party, and such brides either provide the money to their parents from her pocket or in joint provision with the groom. >These days, most couples are paying for their own weddings. >However, it’s a good idea to ask your parents if and how they can contribute to your trad wedding.
-ORDER OF OUTFIT CHANGES: My dear, there are no rules to this – the couple plan how they want it, and I think your guy’s plan sounds awesome.
Hope the above reply helps. I wish you all the best at it.
i so much love your article. please madam, i have questions.
my wedding is in three months time and we plan to go for traditional and engagement same day,is it possible to change dress after the traditional to engagement dress.
2nd qust is about the Mc and the alaga iduro,because am yoruba my husband to be is edo,and you know most of this alaga make a weeding perfect more that s for me oo.and with what i have witness.
Hello Princess, thanks for the feedback on our Nigerian wedding planning articles. Here’s my reply:
-Yes, it is possible to do dress changes during your traditional wedding or engagement ceremony. Many brides do that.
-What’s your question about Alaga and MC? You did not seem to ask it.
this article was helpful… am a Yoruba lady marrying an igbo guy…. am still having issues with our dressing what I will wear and what he will wear doing the traditional wedding/engagement for us to look good together… I won’t want a dress change
thanks for the positive feedback, Bunmi. Well, the best way to decide on what to wear on your wedding day is to look at pictures from the type of wedding you’re planning – look at plenty pictures, note/ mark the outfits that you really like. Places to find wedding outfit pictures include magazines, websites like here (NaijaGlamWedding.com), BellaNaijaWeddings, Pinterest, Instagram. Also, if you want to check everywhere, simply GOOGLE it.
>Do this for about a week or two, and then sit down and choose your best 10. After that, look at those 10 again, and choose the best 3. Finally, review those 3 wedding-day wears and choose the outfit you like most.
Thanks for the tips,I read through all and its so helpful.. Am an intending Yoruba bride with a Edo husband to be.My Traditional and White is fixed for a Day,so my questions are:-During the Traditional in the morning is it possible to change into 2wears and also cut engagement cake within same 3hours(7-10),while church commences by 10am..2nd question is for d reception,when should d couple change from their wedding gown/suit from church into their Engagement dress wore in d morning????
Dear Betty, thanks for the feedback on our Nigerian wedding tips and advice, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.
– It is possible to finish up in 3 hours, including cake-cutting. They key is to ensure that your people can deliver – items required at every stage should not be on-the-way, but ready and on the venue early before the start of the event. Also, the MC should be made to stick to time, and not doing plenty comedy which consumes time. >The important people in the trad wedding should be informed to be on time. >>If all those things happen, you can do it in the 3 hours.
– The time for couple’s outfit change at the reception could be when food is being served to guests (so they are busy eating and not focusing on the couples), or after cutting the white wedding cake.
My name is Emmanuel. Your article has really been helpful. However, i have two questions to ask.
1: can Cash be accepted in stead of providing all the items in every category?
2: If yes, give me a rough estimate of how much a young man like me should budget before heading on this beautiful adventure. Thank you
Hi Emmanuel, thanks for reading our tips on what Grooms should know when planning a Yoruba wedding.
On a rough estimate, you can’t know UNTIL you collect the list from her family (just ask); you cannot make a budget based on á list your friend was given during his own. The only way is to get the pricing from where you live (as price of items are not the same everywhere). *But then, you can make an ESTIMATE to gauge, using our sample Yoruba traditional marriage list here.
Presenting cash in place of all items in a customary marriage list is considered and insult, and traditionally unacceptable. Going for your traditional engagement empty-handed would make them not welcome you. Why would you do that? If you do not have time to shop the items, have a family member (an Aunt or your mom or sister) or close friend do the shopping for you.
However, with some pleading, they MAY accept cash only for a few items that you may have forgotten to get, or was very difficult to find. In a case like that, it is better to inform a close family member of your wife-to-be in advance, so that s/he can put in some word for you with their people.sample Yoruba traditional marriage list here
Tnx so much for your article, pls I need an answer to dis question which is I am a Yoruba lady about to marry an Edo man pls wat attire will I wear?
Hi Funmi,
You should wear your people’s (YORUBA) traditional wedding outfit. If you like, you can have a dress change to change into Edo wear – but if you like, you can only wear your Yoruba native traditional marriage dressing.