#6. Fear of not finding good vendors available for your wedding date can trigger panic and anxiety. You may want to consider extending the wedding date a little bit to the date that works for the good vendors around. If that’s not possible, take things easy and pick the best of available vendors.
#7. Focus more on only what matters most
Know that the must-haves for you to be married to your love are: the couple, the ring, the officiant/ Pastor and a few witnesses. You don’t need too many guests (you cannot come and go and die), and so, if it’s the money to cater for too many people that are causing you the most anxiety, trim down the number of guests to invite in order to cut down the food and drinks cost, and also need a smaller venue space that will cost less. That way, you can focus on planning a memorable wedding you can afford, with only the closes people in your life, and with minimal stress.
#8. Skip any unnecessary shiny wedding details that are not a must to incorporate into your wedding, and which may be giving you stress when trying to figure out how to provide money or vendors for them. If trying to include some things is stressing you, skip them. Your guests won’t even care about most things you may be stressing about, and would not notice if they are not there on the D-day. So, focus on the few things that matter most (the bride, groom, rings, Pastor/ officiant, venue, a few guests to witness and rice and stew/ food).
#9. Delegate and Delegate More
Split your wedding to-do list among helpful Get people to help you out (close friends, relatives, bridesmaids). Planning a wedding involves sorting out many things, and you cannot possibly do it alone. Trying to take on too many things will stress you out and pack on tension/ anxiety. An idea is to delegate activities in your wedding checklist/ to-do list to some of your peeps and follow up.
Not sure what to delegate to others? Some people are stressed when they try to do the things they hate doing. If you find yourself feeling like this, delegate those things you don’t enjoy doing. Allow others to help you do them, and focus only on the tasks that energize you.
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#10. Take breaks in between planning to have fun
Don’t do wedding planning every day of the week. An idea is to have a day of the week strictly for NO-Planning talks or activities. On that day, every week, plan fun activities with your partner and friends, to keep you engaged and have your mind on lighter things. You could fix a weekly lunch date with your significant other.
#11. Enrol in a Gym
Another activity you could schedule into your wedding planning months is the gym. Going out to where there are other people has a way of relieving stress, and attending a gym is a great way to see other people. Workouts have a way of relaxing the mind and body, plus offers the extra reward of shaping up your figure. Register for a gym and commit to it, say 3 days a week. That way, you can kill 2 birds with one stone – get your dream wedding body and shape, and also take your mind and time off wedding planning.
#12. Join a Dance Class
Going out more to where other happy people are is a great way to relieve stress. A once a week dance class can do a lot for you – if you can afford it. It’ll help you de-stress and also learn new moves for your wedding dance.
#13. Enrol in a marriage counselling class, and start attending. You can get some relief by discussing some issues with your counsellors.
#14. Target to finish the tasks your wedding to-do list early, at least a few weeks before the wedding day, so you would have nothing to panic about. To make that possible, you’d have to put a timeline/ deadline by which to finish every task, and that timeline has to be realistic (not too near and not too far in advance). You’d also not procrastinate on the timeline for completing each wedding planning task.
#15. Remember the reason for the wedding you’re planning is to say your vows with the one you love and get married.
The party is nice, but it’s not what matters most. So, any time you start feeling stress and panic, remember what really matters (your significant other). Have the mindset to have a good enough wedding celebration BUT a great marriage life. Why stress too much on something that will last only a day and neglecting the essence that should be a life of forever?
#16. Don’t Bottle Things Up: Make sure to speak out and vent out your feelings to a few very close friends or confidants. Talking to and with other people helps relieve pressure and would make you feel lighter. Ensure to surround yourself with fun and bubbly people during your wedding planning.
#17. Know that there’s no right or wrong way to do a wedding
It’s your wedding, therefore you can have it your way. It’s not compulsory to have any specific type of outfit or number of guests, so keep things simple to keep anxiety minimal.
#18. Hire a Wedding Planner
Finally, if you do all the above and still feel stressed, or if you cannot get around to doing them at all, consider hiring a professional wedding planner to take the wedding planning stress off you.
19. Postpone the Wedding a Little Bit
Wedding planning is a stressful journey, especially if you’re working and have no wedding planner to do the legwork for you. Some brides can get so stressed that they fall ill or start hating the wedding. Sometimes, stress can lead to breakups. Yes, it happens. So, I tell my brides to take things easy and if they ever feel too stressed, it is okay to postpone the wedding, and pickup later. I wrote a detailed guide on How to Postpone or Cancel Your Wedding.
I once had a groom give me a distress call, telling me that his fiance says she is mentally and physically unable to go ahead with the wedding planning. He even showed me their invitation cards and her messages – she said she was too stressed to continue and wanted to cancel (pause) the wedding to enable her to take a break. According to him, she had been planning it alone, and it was going to be a big wedding. His most worry was that they had already sent out invitation cards and made deposits with the venue and vendors. So, he wanted to know how to go about it.
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On average, most couples take about 12 months to prepare for their wedding, but others prefer to have a short engagement before legalizing their relationship. Some may have been engaged for a long time but now want to plan a quick wedding over a short few months. Planning any type of wedding is stressful but planning a wedding in 3 months or less has a way of making brides jittery and panicky.
The tips above for dealing with wedding planning stress and anxiety also work for brides planning weddings on short notice, but there a few other tips particularly helpful to keep you calmer when planning a wedding in a few weeks or months. Read them below.
PART B: Wedding Anxiety and Panic When Planning a Wedding on Short Notice (18 Tips)
There are a few tips and advice you need to do to stay calm when planning a wedding in 3 months or less. They are those things that if ignored, the wedding may not turn out great. And, if done, you can be relieved of stress and nervousness, and also be rewarded with a memorable time of your life, and your guests will thank you for throwing a great party.
1. A Checklist (aka To-Do List) is Your best friend
If you want to get married in a short time period, it’s important to get extremely organized and quickly identify the things you need to do and when. A checklist will keep you organized. It’s easy to just do many different things at random, as the heart leads you, and haphazardly. Planning a wedding in 3 months can sometimes put you under pressure, and having a simple list of wedding things too, in an orderly manner, would keep you calm and sane. Without a wedding checklist, you are sure to forget so many things.
2. Set the 4 Basics (Date, Place, Money, and Guest)
The absolute first thing you must do when planning a wedding in a short period of time is to set the basics – date, place, money (budget) and the number of guests to invite. Don’t start from buying or booking anything unless you have first sorted out the specifics for those basic four.
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