If you’re a newly engaged woman (or man) and planning your customary introduction and Nigerian traditional marriage ceremony, we want to make the process less stressful for you – scroll down to see our exclusive Nigerian traditional wedding planning checklist to guide and keep you organized. Our complete Nigerian traditional wedding planning checklist should be used as a to-do list, so print it and tick off the done-tasks, as soon as they’re completed. Oh, I also included a side-note section to help non-Nigerian grooms understand why Nigerians have multiple weddings, the significance of the traditional marriage ceremony and a few things to know when preparing to marry a Nigerian woman. Scroll down for the customary traditional engagement planning to-do list, or trad wedding planning checklist.
The best time to start planning your traditional wedding is right after he put a ring on your finger (a few weeks ot months after the marriage proposal). Starting to implement this traditional wedding checklist early enough will ensure that there are no last-minute wedding day disappointments and that the best vendors are available for your dates. Read on…
Nigerian Traditional Marriage Planning Checklist
1. Breathe In, Enjoy Your Proposal: So, he (finally) put the ring on it? Congratulations, you’re engaged. Go out and totally enjoy it. Girl, it’s not easy to get the ring! Show off your engagement ring.
2. Tell the Parents: Announce Engagement to Bride’s Parents: Have your husband-to-be bring his family to announce the engagement to bride’s parents, and formally ask for your hand in marriage (Naija parents take this seriously. Even if groom is non-Nigerian or even a white/ oyibo guy, he must formally ask for their consent before the whole World hears that you’re engaged).
3. Decide on Type(s) of Wedding to Have: Decide on the type of wedding ceremonies you want and the ones you should ignore (introduction & bride price only (BP)? traditional only (T)? White/ church/ religious wedding ceremony only (R)? Court /registry wedding only (C)? OR do you want to have multiple wedding types such as T+W? T+C+W? T+C? W+C?
- Same Day Weddings or Not? Decide: will you have the trad and white/ court wedding on the same day? If the same day, will the reception be in the same place? We have a detailed checklist on how to plan both a traditional and white wedding on the same day. However, if you prefer not to have all weddings on the same day, how many days/ weeks/ months apart from each other?
- All Weddings will Be Big or How? Decide which of the wedding types you want to have will be big and which one will be low key, or if all weddings will be big.
good day my wedding is coming up and I need you to help Me with the list of traditional marriage
Hello Esther, good to see you here. I am not sure I understand your question. If you meant ‘the traditional engagement list’ for the traditional wedding, you should have your fiance formally ask for it from your (bride’s) family. That’s how it is done – there’s no universal ‘traditional marriage list’, as it varies from village to village.
However, since items contained in customary marriage engagement lists are similar (not exactly the same), we took time to feature the engagement lists across different parts of Nigeria. You may want to check to see if the one for your tribe is there.
You can re-phrase your question if that’s not what you meant.
Hi, I must confess your blog is the best.
I and my fiancée are planning our traditional/white wedding by December. I am from Rivers State while she’s Igbo from Umuojima Okereke in Osisioma in Abia State.
My problem now is, she doesnt know much about their customary traditional marriage list in their family the bride price.
Now I am a bit confused as to what and what to expect/prepare for, on that day.
My question is,if you can help me with this favour of digging a standard list of this community
and working on a low budget as well for Both traditional and white wedding (1,000,000)
Counting on your swift response.
Thank you.
Hello Odili, thanks for coming around and for the awesome feedback. Here are my thoughts mn your questions:
-On the standard list of her village: Take a look at our Igbo traditional marriage list, and also the groom’s guide to the stages and processes of Igbo Trad Weddings.
The Igbo tradition is that once a groom is ready to take an Igbo bride, he meets face to face with the bride’s parents to make his intentions known, and also formally request for the traditional marriage list. While there are many things similar in engagement lists across Igboland, a few items differ to make each village’s list specific to their people. It is not allowed to go for a bride price or engagement list settlement without getting the list from the bride’s family.
SUMMARY: Find time to go request for the list. It’s a compulsory part of a process grooms are required to take. The list we published will help you get an idea of what to budget and prepare for.
-You’ve done well to set a budget for your trad and white wedding. We have some helpful posts that may assist you:
>How to Plan a Trad and White Wedding on the Same Day (and sample program of events);
>How to Plan Low-Budget Weddings in Nigeria
Hope that helps.
Hi, I must confess your blog is second to none.
I and my fiancée are planning our traditional/white wedding by December. I am Idoma from Benue State while she’s Igala from Olamaboro, Kogi State.
My problem now is, her parents said they don’t give customary traditional marriage list in their family and they don’t accept bride price. What they said was to make money available for entertainment and money to settle relations.
Now I am a bit confused as to what and what to expect/prepare for, on that day.
My question is, does that mean I won’t present anything to them on that day? Secondly, please do you have any idea about marriage rites of igala/olamaboro?
Counting on your swift response.
Thank you.
Hello Andy, thanks for the sweet feedback. Now, we are blushing. I’m glad you found our articles helpful. Here’s my reply:
According to my Igala friend who is also from Olamoboro, their marriage custom does not include giving engagement list, but those 2 things your fiance’s mother told you, and a few others that they will let you know later. (Last 3 months, I actually did a full interview with her, where she discloses the traditional marriage stages. That should be published later).
>My Igala friend said that the cash/money should be dropped before the trad wedding day. Part of the money for feeding guests and entertainment should be dropped with your woman’s mother when you visit her (first or the second time), and it can be any amount you can afford (because the balance will be dropped when your fiance has calculated how much will be needed to cover feeding of guests and drinks.
>Money to settle the relatives: My igala friend says the groom is expected to go to each of the bride’s senior uncles to familiarize himself and announce his intentions and should drop some cash gifts (as you can afford) at each place.
So, generally, for Igala traditional wedding, the groom provides these:
Full Catering money (cash) to the bride’s parents (this is money to cover food and drinks for the traditional wedding day);
Part-Advance for the Catering budget given to the bride’s parents in advance, during the first visit to her parents. They keep this money and later add it to the cash you later provide to them for feeding and entertaining guests.
Travel Luggage/ suitcase for the bride): this should be used to pack the bride’s attire to be gifted by the groom, as part of the customary rite
Outfits for the bride (includes dresses, wrappers, headties, shoes, slippers, handbags, jewelry. The outfits should also contain the complete bridal wear for the trad wedding, which may be the Igala traditional hand-woven fabric in the yellow and black stripes.
*On the traditional wedding day, the groom should come with Kolanuts and drinks for serving guests. The groom may choose to provide the drinks-money to her inlaws before the trad day, so the inlaws can make the purchase on his behalf.
My suggestion:
-Have your bride-to-be give you an EXPO on exactly how much they need to take care of the guests (catering and drinks budget).
-Also, have your fiance tell you what she needs for her suitcase and fashion items that would be in that ‘box’. Even though the grooms are expected to buy this themselves, these days, brides are having to shop for what they like and will use themselves. That saves the groom the trouble of buying what the bride will not like or use. When you present the ‘box’ of clothing, no one will know you didn’t buy them yourself.
-Finally, have your bride ask her parents, behind your back, for what else is needed of you (such as presentation of kolanuts and meeting her older uncles for familiarization, before the Igala traditional engagement day.
That’s the reply from my Igala friend, who is married to an Igala man; and has sisters who also got married to Igala men. One of her sisters also recently got married to an Igala man. So, she replied to you (through me) based on her experience as a ‘daughter of the soil’.
I hope that helps.
hi am from delta state and my love is also from delta state,we ‘re planning our traditional marriage in July,with a 200k budget for not less than 50_70 guest,but my question is my groom won’t be around for the wedding cos he has to work and to cut cost of travelling down to Nigeria, pls what are the procedure,that is what are the dos and don’t if a groom is absent,also most of his family members are not in Nigeria,and venue will be my father’s compound,pls am losing my mind
Hello Oluchi, welcome and thanks for your question. Here’s my thoughts:
-That the groom will not be at the traditional wedding ceremony is not new. I have seen people do that, for same reasons you stated. The dos and donts? I believe that would depend on how your particular people/ village handles it, and so you’ll have to let your family members know about the situation and ask them how such situations (absentee groom) has been handled in the past (as yours would not be different.
-Venue of traditional marriage ceremony is usually the bride’s father’s compound.
It’s not that complicated, so no need to lose your mind – just carry your family along and don’t pull up surprise information on them, last minute – and they will guide you. Your family will even ask your village elders for any missing information, on your behalf, where necessary. Traditional weddings are all about customs of the bride’s people, and you cannot go wrong if you open up to your people and ask for guidance.
Hope that helps.
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Hello, my daughter is getting married and we need the officiant for the traditional engagement. How do you locate them within the U.S. We live in Florida
Hello Annette, we have a sort of Yellow Pages for Nigerian wedding vendors (in Nigeria, USA, UK) on this GoodgleDoc page (click). On that list, serial number 68, you will find an Alaga (officiant) in New York, USA.
*Traditional wedding officiants are called ALAGAs (for Nigerian Yoruba weddings).
Hope that helps.
Your blog is really amazing. Thank you for helping clueless brides to be like me. When I got engaged, I didn’t start any planning because I didn’t want to be too forward. Now a date has been fixed for the traditional marriage (August, 2018) and I’m getting anxious.
My fiance is from the North (Kaduna) and I am from Calabar. We are working with 200 guests and we picked royal blue and silver. I’ll like you to help me with a third color and how to combine them. I’ll also like to know if my mom and his are supposed to wear the same outfit from top to bottom.
Thank you.
Hello Rhunee, thank you for reading, and for the compliments. Sorry that this is, unavoidably, coming late to you (it’s unusual here). You did the right thing by taking the time to enjoy your engagement, without rushing straight into wedding planning (that’s what we advice brides to do). >Here’s my reply:
-No, your mom and mother-inlaw do not have to wear “and-co” uniformed-outfits. But then, if you want them to wear a uniformed look, that’s fine. Not by force. Lol.
-Third Wedding colour for Combination with your Blue and Silver: Any of these colours would combine well – yellow
gold, Ivory, peach, Pink, Orange, Coral, Champagne.
I hope the above tips help you. All the best!
Hi, I’m a young man dating my soul mate. I plan to propose soon but I just keep being scared of wedding costs. Truth be told, I wish we could skip the money spending and just move in together and enjoy the mone together. I don’t have a choice though, there are more people involved in the matter of a wedding other than just myself and my girlfriend.
My question then is, with N2million, can I service both my traditional and white wedding if I am doing it outside lagos (Abeokuta/ North). Every lady wants their wedding day to be a wow experience and memorable, so I want to do that for her. The white wedding – guests should not be more than 400 people.
Trad- 150 people. So how possible is it to have a traditional wedding and white wedding for 2 million naira.
Hi Faj, yes, N2m would be enough to give you a decent trad and white wedding.
You are doing very well so far – such attention to detailing what type of wedding you want (guest number and budget specifics) is the best way to start planning.
>Hiring a wedding planner to coordinate the pre-wedding and wedding day activities can help you get more bang out of your money, and bring your wedding-day dreams to life.
You’re doing a great job, ride on!
I am a Yoruba girl getting married to a Benin guy. can I dress with Benin and Yoruba attire? pls help me to plan #500,000 for a traditional weeding
Hello Maureen. Congrats on your upcoming wedding.
Yes, you can choose to appear in your Yoruba traditional wedding attire, and later change to Benin wear (ir vice versa).
A rough guide on how to spend your wedding budget is to reserve half of the amount for catering (food and drinks), and then take out your venue rentals (which you get from doing market survey and pricing), and then spread the rest on your attires, paying vendors for services (wedding cake, MC, DJ, hall decoration etc).
You can also use our suggested percentages (click here) to get a more detailed wedding budget allocation on each wedding expense type.
Hi. U have done well in ur analysis.. Pls can u help me out? Is it possible to have a small budget igbo wedding of 250k. White and trad on the same day. Pls how do i go about it . Thks
Hi T-baby, thanks for reading our Nigerian wedding planning checklist. Below is my response to your question:
Yes, it is possible to have a N250k budget traditional wedding, but it has to be:
– For a small (few) wedding guests – because you can’t feed plenty people under that budget. These days, even rich people are having small weddings with few guests, and it looks more classy. You don’t have to invite everyone you know, only very close friends and family.
– A free venue (your backyard or any free place) or an open garden or garden space in a restaurant or bar.
– The low cost can easily be achieved IF the location of your wedding is not in a high-brow part of town. The village is usually great for a low-cost wedding because you’d have a family house with big front- and back-yards that can be used for wedding ceremonies, OR host the event inside the church or a nearby playground/ field.
ON FOOD: Let’s assume that you will use half of that amount for food and drinks, then you could plan to have 100 guests (IF your caterer charges N1k per plate of food, and N250 per guest for a drink); OR you could have 50 guests for N2,500 per guest for both food and drink). That’s an example.
ON THE REST OF THE MONEY: Once you spend half on food and drinks, and you have a free venue, you can spend the rest on your outfits, pictures, DJ/ music band, MC, venue decoration etc.. – you can even have relatives help with some, for free. I always advice brides not to be stingy when looking for photographers (spend on the best photographers around), and don’t use free people unless you want to risk not having good pictures to show for your wedding.
Those are my tips for you. Use our search box to find more tips on classy low cost and glam small weddings.
Wow kudos to You,my wedding is coming up and I have read through all questions nd your wonderful replies,thumps up ma’am,God Bless your Work.pls can I get a post on the things I need to get done,I still have a long way to go in planning…
Hi Betty. Thank you for that feedback – we love to hear our readers tell us what they like or not.
Congrats on your upcoming wedding.
You asked about a list of things to do before your wedding – okay, I have them (below):
– White Wedding Planning: List of Things to Do Before the Wedding
– List of 21 Things to Do When Planning a Nigerian Wedding
– Traditional Wedding Planning To-Do List (ABOVE – in this post)White Wedding Planning: List of Things to Do Before the WeddingList of 21 Things to Do When Planning a Nigerian Wedding
I hope those help, Betty.
am an Edo lady and getting married to a Yoruba man,I was born in Lagos and live with my family till date(dad late),but my uncle’s who care less of us for over 19years of my dad exists,wants me to come to d village for d wedding and people are not willing to travel a long distance(guests).and he refused to come to Lagos.now I intend to go ahead with my mum and maternal family for d occasion in Lagos and afterwards go and give them their right after I put to bed in d village.(I don’t want to travel with my condition).what do u advise?
Hi Stephanie, I feel your pain.
While we know that the tradition across Nigeria peoples and culture is to have traditional weddings in the village, these days, we are seeing more people choosing to have their traditional weddings outside their ancestral Nigerian villages. But then, some cultures take it lightly and others are hell bent on keeping traditional marriage ceremonies in the villages.
In your case, your mom is in the best position to advice, as she knows the dynamics in your father’s family. She would also know whether it would be okay for you to do the customary marriage rites after you deliver your baby. So, ask her, as she would know a family or two that has had a similar situation.
I would also suggest that you and your mom find other relatives of your father (close and far) to discuss this issue with, and see how to use them to convince your uncle to let you have it your way – or take sides with you on the idea of giving the village people their rights after your baby is delivered.
If you must go ahead with your plan of having it in Lagos, be sure to involve other relatives from your Father’s side. That’s my advice. Good luck!
Hi admin ur blog is amazing.?? please can u help me with a traditional wedding program for an idoma/delta wedding? Im idoma marrying a delta man. Tanks alot
Hello Joy,
We don not have that at this time, Joy. I suggest you ask from your relatives or friends from Idoma who may have an idea.
Thanks for visiting NaijaGlamWedding blog. Feel free to read our many other tips and advice for Nigerian brides.
Am from calabar want to marry a lady from igboland. And right now am in imo state workin and she’s in lagos workin also. She ll come down to imo to spent some time together, and i also go to see her in lagos . But the problem is the traditional wedding. If i want to go and make. What i call knock at the door, what am i going to do because am in imo state along. No money to transport my people down to east. WAT AM I GOIN TO DO?
Hello Felix, congratulations for making the bold move to plan on doing the traditional marriage rites for your wife-to-be.
You should first go alone to greet her parents, maybe with one or two friends. There you will ask for the ‘marriage list’, so that you will go back and save money for when you will come with your people and buy the items in the list, and bring to her people (for the traditional marriage ceremony).
>>Click here for our guide on how Igbo Traditional Marriage happens, so that you know each stage and how it’s really done.
Hi, my traditional and white wedding is in dec. 2016. But I haven’t started planning yet cos I dnt even know where to begin. Plz could put me thru on this. My white and trad would be on same day and a low key wedding but wow, that’s what im looking at. Tnk u.
Hello Anita, congratulations on your upcoming wedding, and welcome to NaijaGlamWedding – we have loads of tips to get you off a good start planning. Check out these:
-START with a budget figure and use our percentage guide to break it down to how much to spend on what expenses
-HAVE A CHECKLIST/ TO DO LIST & WHEN: Follow our wedding planning checklist/ to-do list – in this page (above) is the one for traditional wedding, AND click here for the white wedding checklist;
-ALSO: Wedding Preparation Made Simple: 21 Things to do before and up to your wedding day
-LOW-KEY WEDDING TIPS: How to plan a low-key Nigerian wedding
-YOUR WEDDING RECEPTION PLANNING TIPS: Follow these steps to ensure a smooth wedding reception coordination (click)
If you follow those tips, I’m sure you;ll have a perfect wedding day celebration. Be sure to send us feedback after everything. All the best!
Hello,
Please I need help, I am yoruba and my fiancee is igbo we will be having our traditional wedding here is scotland and I need help in understanding the yoruba traditional wedding process. I have few questions I need help with:
I was told I need two alagas is it really necessary?
I cannot find someone who beats talking drum as we live in the highlands so very few black people, what can I use to replace this.
Also during the ceremony when will people start eating and dancing is it after I cut the cake and my in laws go and greet my parents? if so how do I seperate eating time from dancing tim?
when do we change to our igbo attire?
finally how long should the event typically last for?
Thanks
Hi Mary, congratulations on your upcoming wedding, and thanks for reading NaijaGlamWedding’s Nigerian Traditional Wedding Planning Checklist.
To answer your question, I sought the expert help of someone who is just like you – a Yoruba lady married to an Igbo man (since I’m not Yoruba), she’s also a wedding planner, and here are her answers below:
-The entire event takes 3 hours maximum, but that depends on how fast the Alaga is.
A Typical Program of Events for a Yoruba Traditional Wedding looks like this:
-The Alaga, the traditional Master of Ceremony (MC) commences coordination…
-Bride enters
-Groom rises up to meet and greet bride’s family
-Bride meets groom’s family
-Both are seated
-Both inlaw sides meet & greet
-Cake cutting > couple feed each other
-Food is served to guests (BUT small chops should be served in-between the ceremony earlier, so people don’t get hungry. *But usually eating starts when bride has entered the hall ).
-Bride greets: husband’s family, her family, guests
-Bride leaves for Change of Outfit
-Music!! Dancing!!
*NOTE: Answers to your questions were provided by one of our wedding expert panelists, Sunmisola Nwanze from SHINE Events. *Sumisola is a wedding/ events expert planner that helps plan weddings and all types of events from conception to finish and also provides waiters, urshers and other vendors at events. *To hire her, call 08027736616 or 07033283595; BB Messenger Bbm-5bfb61ff OR Email her at sunmialffy(at)yahoo.com. She is based in Lagos, Nigeria AND available to travel anywhere your event is. *You may also call her to thank her – she’ll be thrilled.
Na was for u oh Stella! There r loads of other tribes in this amalgamated 9ja outside the Igbo, Yoruba & Edo tribes. They seem to be ur focal point all thru ur site- not fair or nice at all.. I know they might be the majority of ur catchment area but try comping down South ( do a lil research here & there) Thanks!
My dear Pearl, abeg make you no vex for me. I have plans to cover traditional wedding lists on as many Nigerian tribes as possible – na small by small. Lol. Okay where do you want me to cover next? If you’ll help us out with a few info, let’s do it.
*I had volunteers that helped provide information on the ones we already covered, just to ensure that we had accurate information.
Thanks for your candid feedback – it helps us know how we’re doing.
Am segun, yoruba guy dating idoma lady that i met when i went for Nysc she lives in makurdi benue state i live @ibadan how can i reduce the cost, considering the distance and and there culture which may require certain number of people and the food is not left out.
Hi Segun, welcome to Naija Glam Wedding. This is one of the questions we receive almost every week from couples, and so we made a special post answering it with tips and links to helpful past posts:
–Answers to every question you may have about hosting a small wedding and saving costs
I love it when a groom-to-be has a good handle on his wedding plans, and they always pull off a great wedding.
Let me congratulate you on your upcoming wedding. I wish you the very best!
Hi! can i plan my wedding (trad and white) in just 1month?
Hi Chika. Yes, you can IF:
-It you want a small wedding where you’ll only invite a few very close friends and family who don’t need an advance notice to be at your wedding, and who can cancel every prior commitments to be at your short-notice-wedding. Typically, people need about 2 months notice if you want them to attend your wedding. So, when planning a wedding in one month, only invite people you’re sure would attend.
-IF it’ll be a not-small wedding AND IF you’ll hire a wedding planner to do the leg-work for you, take all the stress from you and find the right venue and hire every good wedding vendor for you. Finding a good venue and good photographers, caterers and other vendors in a short notice is difficult, but wedding planners know many of those people and can easily find available ones. Planning a short-notice, classy wedding is a lot of work, and if you’re doing it on your own you may not be able to know where to ask or find a good venue or good vendors in a short time. Wedding planners have worked with tons of other wedding professionals and can quickly assemble them when a client needs them.
*Traditional weddings could be at your village and with very close family members and that can always be arranged in a short notice.
Hi, u r doin a grt job..pls I need ur advice. I’m planning my traditional, church wedding n reception 2 hold on d same day. My concern now is that my bridesmaids will wear the same attire(asoebi) 4 d traditional, then change 2 another dress 4 d church ceremony afterwards. Is this how it’s done? Or is there a way to save them the cost of 2 different outfits for the. Day
Hi Hadassah, thanks for reading our traditional wedding checklist, and for your question. Here’s my take on that:
-There’s no one-and-only-way for how it is done. You are free to choose how you want your bridesmaids to look on your wedding day. The only commonsense rule is for the bride to be REALISTIC in what she asks, when bridesmaids are the ones buying their outfits themselves.
**Some WAYS TO SAVE BRIDESMAIDS FROM OVERSPENDING ON BRIDESMAIDS OUTFITS:**
– Help them pay for 1, and ask them to buy 1 themselves – that is if you choose to have them wear different uniforme outfits for each of your weddings.
– Make them spend on only 1 outfit for your big day. So, you choose the most important one for you and make that the one they wear a uniformed outfit. So, that they would wear what they already own for one wedding and what you specified on the other wedding.
-OR Make them wear a neutral style uniform outfit for both weddings. This could be a Nigerian style long gown or dress, that could pass for bridesmaid dress and also look great as an asoebi. You can get ideas/ inspiration from these long asoebi gowns (click).
Even though it’s your wedding day and you can make your BMs wear what you like, you need to be realistic and considerate and not over-stretch them, OR they will complain behind and secretly hate you forever.
Hope that helps you deal with your BMs, Hadassah. I wish you a fab wedding!
Hi my name is Christina. I am marrying a Nigerian Igbo man. I am from the USA. I am trying to figure out how to have a traditional wedding within a tight budget here in America. I have wanted a traditional wedding since we have been together it’s so beautiful.
Hello Christina, congratulations on marrying a Naija man, and welcome to Nigeria 🙂
So, here are some tips to keep your Nigerian traditional wedding ceremony on a tight budget:
-Have the tradtional and white wedding on same day, and you’ll save plenty of money (you can treat your guests to only 1 party and avoid spending on feeding guests twice (for the trad and reception – now the trad and white will have only one reception).
-Make it a family affair – traditionally it’s meant to be so. Scale down on the traditional wedding reception by having a very small guest atendance/ guest list – most people involve only very close family of the bride and groom. If
-Have only one or 2 outfit changes, so that you’ll save cost on the traditional wedding attire (they are usually expensive).
-Keep your eyes on low-cost but authentic Nigerian fabrics, and research/ ask around for authentic suppliers or shops whose prices are moderate.
-Keep food choices minimal. Usually in inter-cultural weddings, couples tend to want to serve foods from both cultures – that’s okay but keep the choices minimal in order to save costs.
Let me know if you still have questions. Again, congratulations. I’d love to see the pictures after your big day – have fun planning it!
Hello,
i’m a yoruba lady, getting married to an igbo man, in regards to the traditional wedding…i’m not quite sure how to plan the traditional wedding of both tribes as one, without making one side feeling left out?. Would it be better to have 2 separate ones? if not how would i incorporate them into the day as one?.
Hello Tia, thanks for your question. No, you can only have 1 traditional wedding. The ideal way is for the man, escorted by his relatives, go to the bride’s family to marry her in her people’s traditional marriage cistoms. So, in your case, that would be a Yoruba traditional engagement and traditional wedding. It’s the tradition everywhere – you didn’t invent it, and so no one would feel left out. His parents should know this, if he asks. **The white wedding is neutral, and there both of you can agree how to incorporate both cultures (usually via food, music etc.)
2) But before the traditional wedding, he should have formally asked for your hand in marriage from your parents, so that they can provide him with the customary Yoruba engagement list (see a sample here).
Hi,
I am an Igbo woman marrying an American man. I am already very overwhelmed because of having to have two weddings! I have always dreamed of my traditional wedding and then a small white wedding. Even though my fiancé is aware of everything that comes with marrying me, I feel guilty that he has to spend all of this money. I want a house in the future, not to spend all of this money on a wedding. Advice please!!! How can I have both at a reasonable budget?
Hello Didi, I feel you. Trust me, I understand how you feel; what you’re asking is one of the questions we get asked every week by other brides (grooms too).
The most effective way to cut costs down wedding cost to a reasonable budget is to CUT DOWN THE GUEST NUMBER, because the reception cost (food and drinks, with/ without venue cost is over 60% of the entire cost of any Nigerian wedding. So, here are some tips:
-For the white wedding: We’ve already written so many ways to cut down costs – click here to see our helpful tips.
-For the traditional wedding: It’s hard to keep out unwanted guests if your traditional wedding will be in your village compound. But here are some ideas: (1) skip having a big ‘igba nkwu’ party – keep it very quiet, within only very close family members and your fiance’s family (not necessary to invite friends – invite them to the white wedding only. OR have your party your way – small and classy at a far location, say a small hall at a hotel not too far from your village, so that most gate-crashers cannot afford to transport themselves there. Some couples just keep it at bride price payment and presenting items on the engagement list, AND then parlour merriment with the few people involved.
Am a Ghanaian women marring a nigerian yoruba man please I need your advice on what to wear that day,and also to no if the ceremony is to be done in the Ghanaian way.thanks
Hello Linda, welcome (home) to our Nigerian Wedding advice blog:) We love Ghanaian brides. In Nigeria, and most African countries, traditional weddings are done at the bride’s side, and so the attire usually reflect the bride’s cultural wear. So, the bride is supposed to dress up in her own cultural bridal wear. Yes, the wedding is done in the Ghanaian way, in your case.
2) However, when it’s an inter-tribal or inter-cultural wedding, like yours, the trend is that a bride (and the groom too) could go for 2 different looks that touch on each side. BUT today, a lot of couples are changing some of the norms – and we’re seeing inter-cultural couples having their weddings reflect the foods and clothings from both the bride’s and groom’s sides.
**An example is to have 2 or more traditional wedding outfits – including one Ghanaian traditional wedding attire AND one Yoruba traditional wedding attire. You can click here to see many latest Yoruba aso-oke styles and colour combo, to inspire what you’ll wear as a second outfit.
I hope I have answered your question, Linda. Congratulations, and be sure to come join our bridal communities (click here).
Hi, I’m a Yoruba lady getting married to a delta man. We are doing only traditional but I don’t know if it’s okay to wear 3 outfits including a delta outfit.Can you advice on this please?
Thank you
Hello Kay. First off, congratulations on your upcoming traditional wedding. It is very okay to mix-up traditional outfits from both sides, during an inter-tribal or inter-cultural wedding. In fact, that is what we usually advice our brides – we see brides choosing to come out in 2 or more attires, one from their own tribe/ culture, and another outfit from their partner’s culture. **So, yes – your 2 outfit choices are very on-point.
**By the way, we compiled the following traditional wedding lookbooks to inspire you:
–Niger-Delta brides and grooms attire lookbook and colour combos
-Yoruba brides and grooms traditional wedding attire lookbook
Hi, pls I write to find out the stages involved in combined event the white/traditional marriage. Starting from the church to the bride’s place till the end.
Thanks.
Hi Calistus, there are 2 ways we see couples doing it: (1) Start with the traditional early in the morning (introduction and bride price), and then go to the church for the joining/ solemnization; then do a combined wedding reception after church. (2) White (church) wedding first, followed by the traditional marriage ceremony. (3) Another way is to have the white in the morning and traditional in the evening; Some couples do the bride price part early in the morning and leave the Igba Nkwu/ party for the evening, combined with the white wedding reception.
*How you choose to spread the time is up to you, and depending on how far apart the traditional wedding venue is from the Church and reception venue. In any case, you would want to leave a good amount of time in-between to enable you and the guests to get there on time.
*If you start with the traditional engagement, the bride price part could be done early in the morning – this can sometimes drag on for hours, and you can arrange to leave the elders and parents on it while the couple head to church for the white wedding vows.
*Combined reception: You could merge the traditional engagement reception party/ Igba Nkwu with the white wedding reception into a one big after-party.
*Both marriage ceremonies (traditional and church) start from the bride’s family house, and the combined reception/ Igba Nkwu would also hold there or at a venue near her place.
Hope these tips help. All the best!
Hi Calistus, welcome to NaijaGlamWedding and thanks for your question. You left this same question as a comment to our ‘Igbo Engagement List’ article, and I have just replied with a very detailed answer. Please click here to read my reply to you on this particular question. We’re wishing you a smooth planning. Cheers.
This is a very comprehensive list. I always thought Nigerian wedding planners were really behind in terms of check lists and organisation. Most Nigerian wedding i have been to have been very disorganised with gate crashers, no food or anywher to seat etc. Before this the only decent wedding i had been to was organised by The Fine Detail Wedding Planners. They all had suits and were communicating with walkie talkies. A least Naija is now trying. I might even move back! 🙂
Welcome to NaijaGlamWedding, Morenike, And thanks for your feedback and observations about the Nigerian wedding industry. Yes, things have really changed, and the weddings are turning out more sophisticated.
The traditional marriage checklist isn’t available for download as thr’s no link to it. Pls do sumtin abt it.
You’ve got great insight n mind-openers. GREAT JOB!
Oh dear, sorry about that – very soon, we will add that to our downloadable wedding planning tools on our tools page (once we get the time). Thank you for the awesome feedback – be sure to subscribe to this blog by email and also follow us on Facebook/ Twitter? GooglePlus to be the first to know when we publish a new post.
Wow, thanks a million for this job.
You are welcome, Pamela. Thanks for your feedback. Ensure to follow us on Facebook and subscribe by email.