Want to know how an Edo traditional wedding/ marriage is done? I’ve got the details here. If you’re a man engaged to an Edo lady and planning your marriage introduction trip, you definitely want to know the A to Z of how marriage introductions happen in Edo state? In part 1 of this series, we gave you a peek into what the Edo bride-price list looks like. And in this post, you will get a glimpse into the Edo traditional customary marriage introduction process is like.
The purpose of this and other posts in our grooms’ guide to Nigerian traditional wedding planning is to give you a picture of what to expect on your big day, so that you can plan and prepare ahead. Since I’m not from Edo state, I got help to put this post together for you – narration for this article was by my trusty, Edo-based Makeup artist, Henrietta Oziengbe Eromonele (and she’s from Edo state) – her business contact info is at the end of this post, in case you want to hire her for your wedding. Scroll down to read on.
So, let’s say that you’ve seen the expo of an Edo bride-price list, and have saved up money towards it. AND, now you are READY to take a trip to your future in-laws, for the marriage introduction – knowing that you are READY to take care of the bride-price list and dowry, not long after it would be presented to you.
A smart groom would certainly desire a picture of how the entire thing will look like. So, below is an expo into what typically happens on an Edo traditional marriage introduction day:
A Picture of How an Edo Marriage Introduction Happens: A Groom’s Guide to Traditional Wedding Planning
Once everyone is seated, the bride’s family will present kolanuts and drinks to the groom’s family. Here’s the seating arrangement: each family side sits opposite the other- the bride’s family sits opposite the groom’s family.
After kolanuts are broken and eaten, the groom’s family spokesman will stand up and reveal the purpose of their visit (to propose marriage, on behalf of their son, to one of their daughters). Next, the groom’s family spokesperson will present drinks and kolanut gifts to the bride’s family.
After that, the bride would be called in and asked by her father. First, he would ask her if she knows the visitors (i.e. her fiance and his family?). After that, he would reveal to her the purpose of the visit by the groom and his family members (i.e. to ask for her hand in marriage). Finally, her father would inquire her response to the marriage proposal – he would put that question in the customary manner, by asking her whether they (her family) should accept the drinks and kolanuts (gifted by the groom’s family), to symbolize her acceptance to marry the groom.
If her answer is YES, her family will accept the drinks and kolanut gifts; and if NO, the items would be rejected – and there would be no wedding. So, after the bride’s family accepts the drinks and kolanuts, the bride’s family will present the bride-price list to the groom. Thereafter, food and drinks will be presented by the bride’s family to everyone present.
How to Do It All in Just One Travel (Tips to Avoid too Many Trips to Your Edo In-laws)
HINT: On the marriage introduction date, the smart groom can use that same trip to present his traditional wedding date to bride’s family, so that they can later get back to him (if that date is okay with them, or for a review if not). If you go to your in-laws prepared, you will gain their respect and also cut down on the number of back-and-forth trips.
Obviously, if you’re a savvy groom, you should do your research and homework ahead of time, and you should have seen an expo on the customary bride-price list (so you know how much to plan and save up for). Only then would you be able to visit your in-laws with confidence.
This post is part 2 of our Edo Traditional Wedding Planning Guide for grooms. You can click here to read PART 1. This article series is also a part of our wedding planning guides for grooms (Nigerian grooms-to-be or foreign grooms) who are preparing to marry a Nigerian woman.
Post Narration by:
Makeup by NeLe is an Edo/Benin city based makeup artist that specializes in bridal makeup, head gear (gele) tying, bridal hair, rental and making of beads costume for brides and grooms and sales of pro makeup tools. To book her makeup and wedding services, call her on:+2348062522976 OR email her at [email protected]