Want to know how an Edo traditional wedding/ marriage is done? I’ve got the details here. If you’re a man engaged to an Edo lady and planning your marriage introduction trip, you definitely want to know the A to Z of how marriage introductions happen in Edo state? In part 1 of this series, we gave you a peek into what the Edo bride-price list looks like. And in this post, you will get a glimpse into the Edo traditional customary marriage introduction process is like.
The purpose of this and other posts in our grooms’ guide to Nigerian traditional wedding planning is to give you a picture of what to expect on your big day, so that you can plan and prepare ahead. Since I’m not from Edo state, I got help to put this post together for you – narration for this article was by my trusty, Edo-based Makeup artist, Henrietta Oziengbe Eromonele (and she’s from Edo state) – her business contact info is at the end of this post, in case you want to hire her for your wedding. Scroll down to read on.
So, let’s say that you’ve seen the expo of an Edo bride-price list, and have saved up money towards it. AND, now you are READY to take a trip to your future in-laws, for the marriage introduction – knowing that you are READY to take care of the bride-price list and dowry, not long after it would be presented to you.
A smart groom would certainly desire a picture of how the entire thing will look like. So, below is an expo into what typically happens on an Edo traditional marriage introduction day:
A Picture of How an Edo Marriage Introduction Happens: A Groom’s Guide to Traditional Wedding Planning
Once everyone is seated, the bride’s family will present kolanuts and drinks to the groom’s family. Here’s the seating arrangement: each family side sits opposite the other- the bride’s family sits opposite the groom’s family.
After kolanuts are broken and eaten, the groom’s family spokesman will stand up and reveal the purpose of their visit (to propose marriage, on behalf of their son, to one of their daughters). Next, the groom’s family spokesperson will present drinks and kolanut gifts to the bride’s family.
After that, the bride would be called in and asked by her father. First, he would ask her if she knows the visitors (i.e. her fiance and his family?). After that, he would reveal to her the purpose of the visit by the groom and his family members (i.e. to ask for her hand in marriage). Finally, her father would inquire her response to the marriage proposal – he would put that question in the customary manner, by asking her whether they (her family) should accept the drinks and kolanuts (gifted by the groom’s family), to symbolize her acceptance to marry the groom.
If her answer is YES, her family will accept the drinks and kolanut gifts; and if NO, the items would be rejected – and there would be no wedding. So, after the bride’s family accepts the drinks and kolanuts, the bride’s family will present the bride-price list to the groom. Thereafter, food and drinks will be presented by the bride’s family to everyone present.
RELATED: Nigerian White Wedding Checklist: A Planning Guide for Couples
Photo credit: @bookielavida on Instagram (wedding makeup artist)
MORE: A Beautiful Benin Wedding (Plus Lovely Colour Combo Inspiration)
RELATED: Edo Traditional Wedding List (for Customary Engagement)
How to Do It All in Just One Travel (Tips to Avoid too Many Trips to Your Edo In-laws)
HINT: On the marriage introduction date, the smart groom can use that same trip to present his traditional wedding date to bride’s family, so that they can later get back to him (if that date is okay with them, or for a review if not). If you go to your in-laws prepared, you will gain their respect and also cut down on the number of back-and-forth trips.
Obviously, if you’re a savvy groom, you should do your research and homework ahead of time, and you should have seen an expo on the customary bride-price list (so you know how much to plan and save up for). Only then would you be able to visit your in-laws with confidence.
This post is part 2 of our Edo Traditional Wedding Planning Guide for grooms. You can click here to read PART 1. This article series is also a part of our wedding planning guides for grooms (Nigerian grooms-to-be or foreign grooms) who are preparing to marry a Nigerian woman.
Post Narration by:
Makeup by NeLe is an Edo/Benin city based makeup artist that specializes in bridal makeup, head gear (gele) tying, bridal hair, rental and making of beads costume for brides and grooms and sales of pro makeup tools. To book her makeup and wedding services, call her on:+2348062522976 OR email her at [email protected]
About Stella Anokam
Hello,I want to verify this.if a woman’s bride price is paid to the wrong family(not her biological father) and her biological father is alive,does that money still count as bride price.
Hello Efe. That is not a typical situation. What is acceptable in that case depends on what your people (your village/ community) accepts, and the relationship between the bride in this case and the person to whom the bride price was paid to.
So, I advice that you ask a few elders from your place – people who really knows your tradition.
Hope that helps.
Hello aunty Stella,more power to ur elbow for a great work u are doing here.
My inquiry goes thus; is it before or after I propose marriage to my girl wt a ring that she will present me to her parents n preparations for the introduction will start? Pls,enlighten me.
Thanks for ur anticipated cooperation.
Emmanuel.
Hello Emmanuel, thanks for reading our traditional wedding preparation tips for men. Here’s my reply to your question:
Before or after the proposal is okay – there’s no rule, people do it either way. Here are reasons for either case:
1) Most women want to be sure that their men are serious before presenting him to her parents, and the proposal and ring is one way to let her know, and so she can confidently tell her parents that this man is serious enough to make the next (wedding-) move. She may not want to just introduce you as another “boyfriend”, rather as her “fiancé”, which would get you more respect and approval from the parents.
2) Some men want to include their girl’s parents in the proposal plan by formally meeting the parents a few days before the proposal day. They also want to tell them of the proposal date and to be part of the people present, if it’s a surprise proposal. >This pre-proposal meet-the-parents method is great if she is very young and the parents already know you lightly as her boyfriend, or they will meet you later after weeks/ months of your dating.
So, you see, it can be either way.
Hi Stella, I want to know about the outfit. I am an urhobo man getting married to an edo girl…so will I arrive in my attire or hers then I change to mine after? How does it work….what outfit do I wear and when does she change to mine?
Hi Tema,
Either way is acceptable – there is no rule about what a groom should wear, during an inter-tribal marriage ceremony.
Either way works. You can choose either your Urhobo outfit or her Edo outfit. What some couples do is to agree in advance to wear matching/ uniform outfits in all their dress change, by wearing one tribe’s outfit first (say, your bride’s cultural wear) and then change into the other (say, groom’s cultural wear) OR the other way round.
Hello,please I want a guide on to list out wedding plans and budget.Fnx
Hello Bola and welcome to our Nigerian wedding website/ blog.
–White wedding checklist of things to do
–Traditional wedding checklist
–21 step wedding plan for Nigerian brides
–Simple steps to making a wedding budget
–See 5 example wedding budgets from real-life weddings – you may pick one or two things from these