Are you planning to marry an Igbo woman and wondering about how much the bride price and traditional engagement list will cost? Forget everything they told you that you can’t afford to marry an Igbo woman, because that is not true. This post shows you everything in the Igbo Engagement List, so that you can save up and budget for it.
The Igbo Traditional Marriage List, also known as the Engagement List, is not as overwhelming or more expensive than other parts of Nigeria as people tend to make it, and you can find out right here. In this post, you will get a sneak peek into what the Igbo Engagement List Items look like, as part of the traditional marriage ceremony preparation.
Now, let’s get right into it – check out the customary gifts (Engagement List) a groom is required to present to his future in-laws as part of the Igbo traditional marriage rites. They are 4 categories of gifts, by the way.
Here’s What the Igbo Engagement List Looks Like
1: Gifts for the Umu Ada (Igbo Traditional Engagement List Items)
In English, umu-ada means daughters. In this case, the gifts for the ‘umu ada’ would be shared among all the grown daughters in the bride’s extended family.
- Wrappers (George or Abada/ Ankara – brands such as Vlisco Hollandais, ABC English wax, Hitarget wax, super wax, Nigerian Wax, etc.)
- Igbo-style lace blouses
- Igbo Ichafu scarfs, also known as Gele headties (assorted styles and colours)
- Shoes and bags (assorted designs and colours)
- Jewellery (wrist watches, earrings, necklaces and rings in either gold, silver, gold plated/ GL)
- Toiletries (bath soaps, body creams, washing detergents, perfumes and so on)
- Beverages
- Drinks (malt and soft drinks)
- Lump-sum cash gift
Meeting the Father-In-Law & Bride Telling Her Parents (True Stories from Real Couples)
2: Gifts for the Umunna (Igbo Engagement List)
The items in this category will be shared among the men/ heads of the extended family of the bride-to-be.
- Kola nuts
- Palm wine (in gallons/ jerry cans)
- Bottles of hot drinks
- Cartons of assorted drinks (malt, soft drinks and beer)
- Tobacco snuff
- Cigarettes (rolls)
- Goat (1)
- Lump-sum cash gift
3: General Gifts (Nmepe Uzo)
Translating to the English language, “nmepe uzo’ or ‘Imepe Uzo’ means ‘to open the door’.
- Bride price – Negotiable
- Cartons of star brand of beer (2)
- Cartons of Guinness stout (2)
- Cartons of malt (2)
- Crates of soft drinks (6)
- Bottles of hot drinks/whiskey (3)
- Tubers of yam (30)
- Bags of rice (2)
- Bags of salt (2)
- Onions (30)
- Palm oil (one 10 or 25 liters gallon)
- Groundnut oil (25 liters)
- Kerosene (1 gallon)
- Stockfish (1 basin)
- Meat – goat leg (2)
- Bread (25 loaves)
- Tins of Tomatoes (1 carton)
- Tins of Milk (1 carton)
- Tablet soap bars (1 carton)
- Talc face powder – big size: Saturday night powder or morning rose powder (20)
- Tobacco snuff (20 heads)
- Cigarettes (10 packets)
- Big basins (2)
- 5 sets of (George or Abada such as Vlisco Hollandais, super wax, HiTarget, ABC, Nigerian Wax, George)
- Igbo style lace blouses (2)
- Igbo Ichafu scarfs/ Gele headtie (2)
- Wristwatches (2 or more)
- Gold necklaces (2 or more)
- Large suitcase (1)
- Lamp / Lantern (1)
- Umbrella (3)
5 Stunning Igbo Men’s Wrapper & Shirt Igba Nkwu Attire Styles (Husband and Wife Combos)
4: Cash Gifts (During the Ime-Ego/ Bride Price Ceremony)
These are symbolic cash gifts – the groom and his family may negotiate each one down. These include:
- Money to bring down the pot from the fire (in Igbo: ego nfotu ite) – N1,000
- Money to open the wine keg (ego ncha kishi udu or in some Igbo dialects, ego nkwupu udu) – N1,000
- Money for in-laws (ego ogo cherem) – N50,000 (Ogo cherem literally means ‘in-law, wait for me. One of our readers, Chinelo, says it also means ‘the money my in-laws presented to me’).
- Money for maternity bill (ego maternity) – N1,000
- Money for the village chief (ego onye eze) – N1,500
- Lump-sum cash (ogwe ego) – N5,000
IMPORTANT NOTES:
- The aim of providing this sample Igbo engagement list is to guide you in budgeting, and please do not buy them until you officially ask and receive it from your in-laws.
- The Igbo custom requires a man to ask and collect ‘the list’ by himself. Note also that the items inside an Igbo Engagement List vary slightly (slightly) from one Igbo village to another.
This post is part 2 of a 4-post series on the Igbo traditional marriage process (a guide for grooms), and you can check out the other articles in the series:
- Part 1: Overview & A-Z of Igbo Traditional Marriage Ceremony (Grooms Guide)
- Part 3: Everything You Should Know About Igba Nkwu (Wine Carrying) Process
- Part 4: Answers to Top Questions About Igbo Traditional Wedding
- What’s Expected When Visiting Your Igbo In-Laws to Discuss Marriage
FAQs & Answers About Igbo Traditional Engagement List
How Much Will My Igbo Traditional Marriage List Cost?
The total cost of buying all the items in your Igbo traditional marriage list is what it will cost you, and the amount to budget. The only way to find out is to take that list to the market and ask for prices. Add up all the costs to get the totals.
Since the price of items in Nigeria differs from place to place, it will not be correct to quote any particular bulk price as the general cost of an Igbo traditional engagement list. I also usually get asked ‘how much will my Igbo traditional wedding cost?’. To estimate how much your traditional marriage, add up the cost of the engagement list items with catering cost (food and drinks) at the marriage introduction/ traditional wedding
When is the Right Time to Present the Igbo Traditional Engagement List and Go For the Marriage Introduction?
If your girlfriend said yes to your marriage proposal, the next thing is to take your marriage proposal to her family, her parents first. In Igbo customs, this initial marriage proposal/ introductory rite is known as ‘iku aka’ (literal meaning: knock on the door).
It’s expected that the groom-to-be goes alone alone to officially meet the bride’s parents. After your first meeting with your father-in-law, you should arrange to bring your parents and a few close family members to officially meet with your bride’s bigger family (her parents and extended family). After the groom and his family receive a positive response from the bride’s family.
Meeting the Father-In-Law & Bride Telling Her Parents (True Stories from Real Couples)
As part of Igbo custom, to marry an Igbo woman, the groom-to-be is expected to ask and receive the consent and blessings of the bride-to-be’s parents.
Once her parents give their consent, the groom can then proceed to complete the rest of the traditional marriage rites, which includes: the bride price payment (Ime Ego) with a presentation of the engagement list, and the formal traditional wedding party (the Igba Nkwu).
The Igbo Dowry vs The True Value of a Wife and Modern Day Twists
It’s important for a groom to know that the Igbo bride price and the customary engagement list are symbolical and do not represent the true value of a wife.
The presentation of dowry and bride price is an age-old practice that is also being done by not only the Igbos but by people or other parts of Nigeria and outside Nigeria.
For Ndigbo (Igbo people), the value of a woman is beyond being quantified, and beyond monetary value. Therefore, the engagement list or dowry presentation should not be mistaken to mean that you are paying to ‘buy’ your bride. It is wrong for a man to compare the worth of his bride-to-be or wife to the ‘symbolic’ cash value he paid as her dowry.
FURTHER READING: Igbo Traditional Marriage Process Explained in Details
This post that you’re reading is part of the series explaining the Igbo marriage stages, traditions, and customs. We’ve written detailed, easy to understand articles to help you understand how to go about marrying an Igbo woman.
Click the links below to get familiar with the process before your big day:
- Part 1 – Overview of Igbo Traditional Marriage Stages, Process and Customs (Grooms’ Guide)
- Part 2 – Grooms Guide on How to Prepare to Officially Meet Your Igbo In-Laws
- Part 3 –Igba Nkwu (Wine-Carrying( Ceremony – Everything a Groom Needs to Know
- Part 4 – Answers to Common Questions About Igbo Traditional Marriage Rites and Procedure – such as ‘can I do the engagement list and marriage rites if my Igbo fiance is pregnant?’
- Part 5 (This Post ) – The Igbo Traditional marriage List and Bride Price
Why this Igbo Engagement List Preview?
Many men planning a marriage introduction are stressed because they are trying to save up wedding money and have no clue of how much to budget for ‘the Igbo engagement list’ – without first finding out what’s in the list. Therefore, grooms usually over-think it. Also, some men are scared of officially meeting their Igbo Father-In-Laws to make a formal request for the Igbo Traditional Marriage List.
Planning to marry an Igbo bride without an idea of what to expect (as per the Engagement List and Bride Price) is like going to buy a car without knowing the price. If you ever felt that way, this post aims to give you all the information you need in advance to budget for your Igbo traditional marriage ceremony would cost.
Conclusion: Budgeting for Igbo Traditional Engagement List
The Igbo bride price and engagement list for grooms consist of gift items that are shared among different groups in the bride’s extended family/ kindred (the umunna, the umuada, the youths, etc.), they’re not only for the bride’s parents.
While the list can be intimidating to very young men who have recently started to earn a living, with some negotiation and bargaining and pleading, the bride’s family can usually tone down a few items.
To help their future son-in-laws cut down the costs of the traditional marriage ceremony, we’re seeing many Igbo parents waiving their part of the list in exchange for an intending groom to make a commitment to take good care of their daughter and her future children.
OTHER HELPFUL ARTICLES:
- Sample Nigerian Wedding Budgets from Other People’s Weddings
- Complete White Wedding Planning Checklist
- How to Plan a Traditional and White Wedding Same Day
If you are an Igbo bride or a groom married or about to get married to an Igbo girl, tell me – is there any item that was on your engagement list, which is not on the above list. How is the above list different from your own traditional marriage list?
Good morning dear
Please is there any price to pay before you collect any engagement list in Igbo land
Hi Felix, welcome to NaijaGlamWedding. In some villages, yes.
It may be different in some places – that’s why the groom-to-be must always formally ask his father-in-law for how it is done in their place, or the next steps (even if you have done a research on blogs and magazines).
Places where fees are requested, the fees are placed by the men’s village meeting, and not the bride’s family. It’s best to ask your fiance to ask her parents or Uncles/ Aunties for the exact requirements from her village.
*NOTE: Ensure not to generalize what you hear. Whatever information you get from here or elsewhere may not be exactly the same as how it is done in your fiance’s village, as no Igbo village does things exactly the same way (as with other Nigerian states). Every information is a guide for you to get a glimpse of what to expect, and to enable you plan in advance.
Hope that helps.
Good morning beautiful sis ,
Thanks for this Website , it really helps me a bit , my white man has been asking me how much my traditional marriage should take because we both lives in Europe and because of corona situation he is scared to come to Nigeria , so I was going through research and came across your page . I took the list short by short to show him …
Thank you very much but is it possible when we are ready to contact you , should any case we need someone?
Welcome to NaijaGlamWedding, Alex. And thanks for the feedback. I am happy to know that my Nigerian wedding planning posts helped you.
The Igbo traditional marriage list I provided was strictly to help men/ grooms plan and budget funds (and I stated that). That should not replace the customary requirement for the groom to formally request it from the bride’s family whenever he is ready to commit.
Due to the pandemic, many Nigerian couples are having long-distance traditional engagement in full or in part (thanks to zoom technology), and that includes asking for the list.
He needs to get to know your blood-family-members. You can hook up your groom-to-be to your favourite uncle or older cousin/ brother so that they build a relationship in advance and that person can help him ask your family for the list. It has to be obtained from your family – even if you know everything that it contains.
Hope that helps.
Please, judging from Ngwa culture: what is the implications and consequences for a girl who is engaged, and in the process got pregnant for another man and abort it?
I don’t know. This question does not relate to this post, and I suggest you ask the Ngwa girl or find an Ngwa Facebook group or town meeting to get answers. If you have a question on the topic in this post (above), I can answer.
This post (above) is about what Igno Traditional Marriage List looks like (across the Igbo villages, and not specific to one Igbo state/ town), so that the men who are ready to get married have an idea of what to budget for.
Please can I be updated on Amuzi ikenanziz in obowo, imo state bride price
Sorry, I don’t know about that. Go to the village to ask for it, or ask someone who is from there.
Thanks.
Please can any body update me about okagwe ohafia bride price list
Hello Chibuike, we don’t have that.
Please do you know the bride price for abua/odual LGA in Rivers State?
No, Oria.
Bride price can easily be got by asking the bride (your bride). If she doesn’t know, she can easily ask her parents, cousins, Uncles/ Aunties.
The post (above) is an insight for serious grooms (who have decided to actually get married soon) to make their BUDGETS and PLANS. If you follow the post above, any groom can get an idea of an average amount of money to put aside or save towards their Marriage Introduction.
If after reading the post, you require more information on cost, you can ask your bride – at least now you know most of what is required. There is no way to get every information from someone else except your bride’s family directly or through your bride.
SUMMARY: Use what I have provided above as an overview, and then ask your bride for the exact details for her Igbo state or village.
Hope that helps.
Good day ,pls I need you to update me on how things are been done.will 300k be enough for the traditional right or 400k doing both the church and TM at same day.and also can the list and the pride price be negotiable.I’m from IMO state and my fiance is from abia state ,is the traditional list given be as the same items used doing the traditional marriage because am a mobile brand promoter and I don’t have a stable salary ,pls I just want to know more .thank you
Hello Ikenna, thanks for reading and commenting.
-No, the items in the engagement list is not meant to be used to host guests at the traditional wedding. If you read that list, you can see that there are specific groups of people that each set of items should go to. You are supposed to buy the drinks and food to host guests and how much you spend can be as small or as big as you can afford, depending on how many people present. So, to keep costs down, do not invite outsiders when you’re taking the traditional marriage list and bride price items, so that you have fewer people to provide drinks and food.
-But if you’re doing your trad and church wedding the same day, you should budget for the LIST separately, and everyone will eat during the church wedding reception.
-For the traditional rites, I can’t tell you how much that will be enough because I don’t know the price of each item on the list that you collected. You have to take that list to the market and get prices, and then add up the prices to get a total. You can get your mother or a close relative or your bride to do it if you are busy.
-Will N400k be enough for both the church wedding and traditional wedding? It can if you only invite a few people and get your mother and her friends to cook the food, if you rent the wedding gown, if you don’t buy new shoes but use an old one tat looks new. If you invite too many people, the food will not go round. To curtain too many people, choose a location that will not attract a large uninvited crowd. See our sample N500k wedding budget breakdown AND N200k wedding budget breakdown for ideas.
==>For more ideas on how to make N400k work well for you, see the tips here ==> How to Plan an Inexpensive Wedding (19 Ideas)
– Yes, the traditional marriage list and bride price is the main thing involved in a traditional marriage. Some grooms have a party (Igba Nkwu) after presenting everything in the list. Some postpone the party till when they can afford. Some do not have any big party, but just share drinks inside the parlour after paying the bride price. Choose the way that fits your pocket – those are examples of how people do it.
-We already have answers on this question packaged in some posts. I’ll refer you to read our series on Groom’s guide explaining how things are being done, the Igbo Traditional Marriage Stages and Process and the Overview of Grooms Customary Visits to His Igbo In-laws
– Is the bride price negotiable? I already explained in this post (above) how a groom can negotiate things with the in-laws. It is a good idea to meet with your bride’s father in advance to ask for the list officially and also ask them what is the process for the next steps.
Finally, I want to let you know that you’re on the right path, as you already have a plan.
I hope I answered your questions? If not, let me know.
Anonymous
Good day miss Stella, I’m about to wed soon next year by gods grace at mgbidi IMO state. And It’s my first experience which I need ur guidance, also it’s there anyway I can download this written file pdf?
Hello Charles, first, let me congratulate you on your upcoming wedding.
The post above is not available in PDF. You can only print it out or save/ bookmark this page so that you can view it again at any time you desire.
Wow! This is very helpful… Plus the comment, questions and answer. I love this page
Thanks for stopping by, Stanley. We are glad you got something from our article and the insightful Q & A in the comment thread.
Enjoy your day, and help us spread the word _-_
Hello. I am Sam from Ghana and planning to marry an igbo girl who stays with the parents in Togo. Looking at the distance and cost involved copled with the cost of the traditional marriage ceremony, Do you think there is an instance whereby the family can agree for the ceremony to be held at Togo to make it feasible for both families?
Hello Samuel, thanks for stopping by to read and ask your question. Here’s my thought:
– Yours is no different from multicultural weddings with Nigerian brides, where the groom lives abroad (like some that like in the USA, Europe or other African countries or continents). We have many Nigerian sisters married to Ghanians and Togolese, so don’t worry, you’re ‘at home’.
– In Nigeria, the tradition is that the groom physically comes to the bride’s village home to marry her and take her with him.
– What’s sort of compulsory to do in Nigeria is the payment to the bride price and presentation of the engagement/ customary traditional marriage list. Some people have just a parlour party for this – what matters is the LIST and Bride price.
>Since the distance is long, you can make only one trip to Nigeria with one or two relatives, IF you do the preliminary discussions with her parents to prepare things for the day. It would also make things easier if your bride travels about a week in advance, to Nigeria, to purchase the ENGAGEMENT LIST items, so that you show up and do the presentation of the LIST items to her family.
– The white / church wedding can be anywhere you both decide (in or outside Nigeria). What some intercultural couples do is to have their white wedding where both bride and groom reside, or a destination they both decide on.
*Only in rare cases that customary bride price and engagement list are presented in a foreign land. I’ve heard of Nigerians in the USA and UK doing so, BUT NOT ALL OF THEM. Where that happens, it’s because the bride’s parents have lived in that country for very long and may be very old to travel to Nigeria for the event, and also that they have a big community of their village people in that place, who have all agreed to do such ceremonies there – with prior approvals from their home village.
**So, ask the bride’s parents if that can be possible (but know that it is their village back in Nigeria that gives the ultimate permission).
>Finally, I’d say, if that is not possible, get one or two folks to accompany you to do the bride price and list presentation, and reserve the partying for your white wedding wherever you choose – so that you can keep costs low.
Hope that helps.
Congrats on getting thus far, and I wish you the very best ahead. Don’t worry, it will go well.
Good day house,pls I have a lady from orlu,and my family stays in IMO,state,I dont know if 500k can finish paying her bride price.although the told me any were I do and stop is also advisable. Than procrastination
Hello Tayo, welcome and thanks for reading. Here’s my response:
-She is right – if you do not have enough to do everything in the customary marriage LIST, you can plead to complete it later.
– On whether N500k will be enough? I would not know, and you too will not know UNLESS you request and see the list, and then take it to the market to price and add up current market price of every single item.
My advice: ask her parents for the list right away. No need to procrastinate. Don’t worry, it will be okay.
Hope that helps.
wat color can someone use as color of the day an wat to use to look beautiful as her day an like how much will it cost as an Igbo
Hello Ify,
-For the colour of the day, one way is to choose a colour combo around your favourite colour. Another way is to look around magazines and pictures of other people’s wedding to see the colour combo that catches your eye. Take a look at our 57 peach colour combo for trad wedding AND the combos in our latest george wrapper and blouse Igba Nkwu attire.
-On how much it will cost, you’ll have to go price things at a market near you to know that. I cannot tell you, and no one can tell you – price differs according to everyone’s pocket and taste, and the good thing is that there are so many beautiful materials for wedding at small, medium and high price point. You go to the market to find what you like that costs within your price-point.
Hope that helps.
Hello, my name is Eve, I’m happy we have a place like this where one can easily pour out his or her mind. I’m a bit confused when someone says that 200k, 300k,400k and 500k will be enough for ones traditional marriage. Please, i want to ask is the lists included because the list my people gave to my to my husband to be is close to 400k and we have not talked about food, drinks, cannoppy, dj,mc and our wears. i just wished my parents were to be in lagos. i would have loved to do everything same day. i have come to agree that igbo bride price is quite to much and i have beginning to think that this is the reason why mostly igbo ladies are not married. i might be wrong. please, i need more knowledge regarding the list biko. thanks
Hello Eve. Welcome here and thanks for the feedback. Here’s my answer to your question:
-First, let me clarify how to cost your traditional wedding. What is involved is (a) the cost of the marriage list items the groom is given, and (b) the cost of traditional wedding party (Igbankwu).
The most important thing is the CUSTOMARY LIST & BRIDE PRICE, and these days, the groom can ‘beg’ to do them in bits or ‘beg’for it to be cut down a bit. That’s how most people so, if they can’t do it all at once.
The total cost of the list items can come down, depending on where they are bought. Some couples choose to shop their engagement LIST items where it is cheapest – for example, purchase some at the village and purchase some in the city.
Once the money for the customary LIST & BRIDE PRICE is available, the couple can then decide how big or small they want to do the ENTERTAINMENT/ TRAD PARTY (food, drinks, outfits) – some people choose to limit it to a parlour-size affair, while some choose to invite more people, or even do it very big. That depends on how big your pocket is.
Also, depending on how much money you have, you may decide to do the bride price first and then fix a date (weeks or months later) for the Igba Nkwu.
In summary, reserve money to do the LIST and manage the change to plan the Igba Nkwu.
Hope that helps.
Hello good day I am from the North (plateau state) and my fiancé is from abriba in ohafia (abia state) they have been so much talk of it been impossible I.e my union with her. But I believe everything is possible, my only challenge is conveying my people to the east cause I heard that traditional marriage is usually done in the lady’s maternal home. Is true the bride price for non indigenes(Igbo’s) is higher compared to indigenes? Can I just take few family members for the traditional marriage a little below 10 persons? Thanks so much.
Hello Emmanuel, congratulations on finding “the one”. Here’s my to your questions:
-No, it is not true that bride price is higher when the groom is non-Igbo.
-Yes, you can take a few family members (10 people or even less) to the traditional marriage.
My final advice is that you should not be distant anymore, and be scared of what you don’t yet know (the bride price or engagement list), ASK for it now. Ask for it from your future inlaws. The earlier the better. Don’t worry, it will go well.
Hello stella
I am planning to do my traditional marriage. I have not taken the list yet but my wife to be told me that with 400k i should be able to do a traditional marriage. as i speak to you now i have already transferred the 400k to her account to start all the necessary things done for the traditional marriage. SHE ALREADY HAVE TWO KIDS FOR ME A GIRL AND A BOY. i JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE I DO THE NECESSARY THINGS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. ALL SHE AWAITS NOW IS FOR ME TO FIX A DATE. WILL THE 400K BE ENOUGH FOR EVERYTHING CONCERNING THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE? SHE IS FROM ENUGU STATE AND I AM FROM DELTA STATE
Hello Collins, and welcome here. The only way to know if the N400k would be enough is if you asked your bride to send you a copy of the traditional marriage list (by whatsapp or email), and you go to the market near you to price each item, and then total them up.
The only way to find out is to ask your woman – since she has seen the list, and also since she is already in Enugu, to buy the items. Prices are never the same everywhere, the price of each item in Enugu would be different from where you are, or any other state. Because of that, your N400k may be enough for the list in Enugu, and may not be enough anywhere else, or the other way round.
And, if you want to cross-check, ask her to send you a copy of the list. I cannot tell what and what is in that list because no 2 lists from different villages are exactly the same (they have many similar things, though), as we pointed out in the above post.
I would suggest that you be calm, and know that she would get in touch with you if the money not enough. Hope my reply helps you.
Good evening dear, your articles is so helpful. Please i need some advices my girlfriend of almost 2 years is from Enugu state and I’m from Delta state. Please can 300k or 400k do for the traditional marriage??
Hi Smith, thanks for reading. If you mean the traditional wedding party – yes, it could be enough IF you both keep number of guests minimal.
BUT if you’re talking about the Traditional Marriage LIST – the only way to know is by you taking the list from your inlaws to the market, and pricing each item one by one (then total up). >It’s not hard, just do it.
I can’t advise on that because market prices vary from place to place, and items listed for trad weddings vary from place to place. So, please take your list to the market to find out.
hi please I may be seeing this article late, but it’s really helpful… I have this girl i’m so in love with and we want to settle down together…
We are both from Anambra State… she is a year older…
so i want to know what’s the minimum amount I can be looking out for, for for moderate trad and white wedding…including the imego…
your response will be highly appreciated.
Dear Somayina,
The minimum amount is the total cost of all the items listed in the WEDDING LIST that her parents would give you (you have to go and request for that list, and then take the list to the market – for pricing). That’s the only way.
Hope that answers your question. All the best!
gud day,thanks for ur write up,I would like to know the likely cost of the marriage list item for nnewi,I av a lady DAT I would love to marry who is from nnewi.thanks as I look forward to ur reply.
Dear Chuks, thanks for reading and leaving a question. No two lists are the same, and so we do not know every detail of marriage/ engagement lists from every part of Nigeria/ Igboland – what we provided here is only a general guide to help grooms
The only way for you to know how much your Nnewi marriage list would cost is to do a market research and ask for prices of the items you’re given. Write down the prices, one by one, and total them up when you get home. Just find time to do it OR ask an aunty or friend to do the price-research for you.
NOTE: Even if you have a friend who did his own traditional wedding last year or last month, or in a different part of the town, you cannot even rely on using their price for yourself – BECAUSE inflation happens almost every month/ year in Nigeria, and prices differ from place to place. >>So, the best way to know how much your marriage LIST would cost of to personally take the list to the market near you, and price things yourself.
Hope that helps.
am yoruba man,am just proposing to marry an igbo girl 4rm abakaliki and am not financial flambouyant like that pls advice me. 1)what shud i do? (2)Is it possible to do only traditional wedding without white wedding. 3)My fiancee is complaining of d distance wat shud i do? (4)Her parent disagreed wit her to marry yoruba.Pls advice me
Hello Ade, thanks for reading our Nigerian wedding advice and tips.
-Yes, it is possible to do only a traditional wedding, and no white wedding. People do that every week. You may or may not choose to have an affordable white wedding later in the future.
-Distance: I don’t understand what you are talking – You did not say what distance you are talking about or that she is complaining about.
-Her Parents: Keep trying to get their consent. Don’t stop asking and begging. They may accept one day. There are many couples who had a similar challenge but smiled at the end. So, your case is common – keep asking and begging them.
Please know that wedding is not about flamboyance – you can have a wedding of any amount and it would still be beautiful, as long as you cut out unnecessary excesses and concentrate on what really matters.
Gud evening stella, my name is chinonye am from Imo state, am very confused rite nw, am d bride to be, 1st my finance is frm Anambra but his family refuse a girl frm imo state, with alots of pleas finally they accepted me but now d problem here is d list my guy hv collected d list. Him and his family and friend are all shouting that d list is too expensive, so I went to beg my family dat dey should reduce it for him cos of me dat I love him so much, so my dad ask him to bring 300k for everything in dat list, he agreed, just yesterday we saw, he insisted that he want to buy some of d things in dat list, now my dad is saying he’s nt reducing anything for him dat he should buy all d things in d list with alots of fighting, begging and crying my dad agreed to reduce it, my dad reduce it but now d problem here is dat my finance is giving attitude, shouting at me for little things like when I ask questions like why did u close late frm work. Pls help me I want a peaceful wed and I don’t want to loose him. I love him so much, he’s my all. Pls help me
Dear Chinonye, I am so sorry about that. I know how frustrated it must feel like.
I suggest to give your fiancé a little time to cool off, but do not keep away totally. He too, is feeling frustrated. Men, generally, handle and brood over issues quietly and different from women. But I believe that he’ll be fine and back to you in no time. >>In the mean time, just keep showing him love and care, but less talk, until he seems ready for it.
It will be well, dear. I wish you all the best.
While
Hi Stella,
– How much in Naira would you say will be ADEQUATE for the List and the Igbankwu in Imo State typically?
– What if the groom lives outside the country somewhere in North America, does the amount jack up?
– What would you suggestion on approaching this to avoid being taken for a financial cleaning?
– Does this amount change with regard to bride’s educational level?
Hello Uzome, thanks for reading our articles. Here are my answers:
-How much is enough? The amount that would be enough for a TRADITIONAL WEDDING LIST can only be otained by you visiting and pricing the list items in the market close to when you plan to buy them (because price of things change everyday, in Nigeria). >Since the Igbankwu involves a party and food and drinks for the guests, how much you spend would depend on the venue. If you’ll be doing it at her village house, it means you cannot control the number of guests and what most people do in a case like this is to budget for a bag of rice AND provide money to your mother in-law for buying meat and other cooking ingredients (usually, in Igboland, it is customary for selected married women help out). >>Again, this would depend on the price of items at the time you’re ready, but an easy way is to ask your mother-in-law for a price list of wedding cooking things. Involve your bride to liaise with her mom, to determine the amount. >Just so you know, it’s not a scary amount – you can always cut down the amount to what you have, so that they will cook according to your money.
-If the groom lives abroad: Yes, the bride’s family COULD (or could not) jack prices up. Since the traditional marriage list is usually not spelled out by the bride’s family (but by the village heads), her kinsmen COULD present a jacked-up wedding list because they believe the groom is wealthy. >>One thing to do is to discuss with her father and let him go before you to protect your interest.
-Bride educational level vs price and wedding list: Yes, in many parts of Igboland, there’s is a different wedding list and bride price for every educational level. However, it’s not usually as scary as it sounds, and is not a human SALE VALUE. >>You can always politely beg them to reduce some things, but first let your father-inlaw know ahead to protect your interest. He should also be able to pre-talk with some of his kinsmen to be ‘ gentle’ with you. Lol. Just carry him along and you’ll be fine.
Don’t worry, Uzoma, it will go well. All the best!
Good evening Ma. please do you know the requirements for marring a lady from Ogbunike in Anambra state?
Hello Grace. I do have no idea.
You’ll have to ask someone from Ogbunike.
Thank you for such a detailed article. This helps shed some light on a situation I have currently.
I need your advise on a case where the bride is from Repiblic of Benin and the groom is from Imo state.(Apologies if I wrote Imo state wrong…)
Is it true that the woman also has to bring gifts and cash to the family members of the man to receive blessings?
Hello Lady Christel. Thanks for your feedback on our Igbo Traditional Engagement List article, and for taking time to read the discussion in our comment section.
>>Here’s my answer to your question: No, the woman (bride) is not required and not expected to bring gifts and cash to the (groom’s) family members, during the Igbo traditional marriage ceremony. It is the other way round – the man
who intends to take (marry) an Igbo bride is expected to go to the bride’s family with some gifts, to ask for the bride’s hand in marriage. >>I wrote a detailed article on the A to Z process of Igbo Traditional marriage process (click here). That guide has helped many non-Nigerians and non-Igbos (who are about to marry Igbo women) understand where to start from, and what happened in each stage of Igbo Customary Weddings.A to Z process of Igbo Traditional marriage process (click here).
-AlSO: Answers to FAQs about Igbo Traditional Wedding Process
Answers to FAQs about Igbo Traditional Wedding Process
Hi Stella, this has been so helpful. I realy want to find out if 450k can deal with brideprice, trad and white wedding of the same day in december. Thanks
You’re welcome, Amara.
It would depend on how much change that would remain after settling the bride price and traditional marriage list. The only way to know is to actually ask for and get the bride price list from the bride’s people; and then go to the market near you to get prices of items in that list. Total that up, and you should have your engagement list budget.
>>Whatever amount left would be your white wedding budget – it is possible to work with it to have a beautiful, small wedding that is classy. We have plenty great tips for how to plan a glam Nigerian wedding with not so much money (here).how to plan a glam Nigerian wedding with not so much money (here)
Hope the above tips help…
Hello Stella, your article is really educative and informative. I am planning to get married before end of October 2017. My girlfriend of almost 2 years is from Ezinihite Mbaise L.G.A. of Imo state. She is threatening to leave me for someone that approached her in less than 1 month for marriage. Please, I need your advice: I have about #250,000-#300,000 at the moment, can this amount take care of the list and bride price, considering the fact I don’t want to organize a traditional ceremony?
Hello Amanze, thanks for reading our traditional wedding planning tips for Naija men. Now, onto your question, my answer is below:
N250k to N300k may or may not be enough – you have to use the sample Igbo list above to go to the market and price things, so as to gauge and prepare ahead. However, some guys do it in bits using what they have at the moment, and pleading to come do the rest later. The first step is to go to her people and ask officially for their own specific list. She would take you more seriously if you just take that first bold step – go and get that marriage list.
The only way to know the actual amount it would cost to settle your girlfriend’s bride price and engagement list is to (1) ask and collect the list from her own family – just ask; and (2) go price-shopping with that list and note the cost of every single item. Total that up, and you get the amount it would cost you.
There is no fixed price for traditional engagement list and bride price, because it slightly varies from village to village, and because the cost of things are different from place to place. You cannot use the example list in this article and you cannot use the list your friend was given during his own – there’s always a slight difference.
Hope that helps.
plz i need help my name is nduka my girlfriend is 2 months pregnant for me and she want me to go pay for her head then later will do traditional marriage but i want her to deliver first then we can go cause i don’t no if is possible to pay for her head with 2 months pregnancy plz need help here thank you
Hello Nduka, the only way to find out is to ask her parents/ family. However, I know people do it at early pregnancy. But then, since she wants you to go pay her bride price now, it could be because she knows it would be acceptable by her people. >>My suggestion is for you to take a bold step and do the necessary thing, which is to go and pay.
Hello, You have a very nice page. Quite helpful. Please I need you to help me plan a budget for my white weeding. I have N1.2M
Hello Skyllachy,
Thanks – I am glad you like the Nigerian wedding planning tips you’re reading here.
You can use our wedding budget breakdown percentage guide (click here) to do it yourself – it’s very easy. There’s even an example there.
Thanks for reading – be sure to see our many other helpful articles for brides-to-be.
My name is Chidi. I have collected my traditional marriage list last 3months now. I’m confused how to go about it due to the list is huge running up to 950k to execute & l’m holding 200k. And am planning to go there with my few people to do few important things in the list later in few months ahead we come back to do the rest probably. Pls I need ur help now is my decision OK on this arrangement. Thanks
Dear Chidi,
Thanks for reading, and sending your question.
That list is unusually too much, but you could do what most guys do – start now and do it bit by bit. First talk to her Dad and hear his advice on how you can go about it. He may have to consult with his kinsmen to plead with them, before getting back to you.
Since you have part of the money – go with your people to meet your bride’s family and do some of the things in the list; negotiate where you can (beg and plead with them to cut down quantities of some items for you). First discuss with her parents, especially her father, and let them know your financial challenge and seriousness to marry their daughter, and that you intend to come and do some of the list things, and are begging for waivers and cut-downs. Let them know you would take good care of their daughter.
As you know, the items in the marriage list are for the bride’s community and some for her parents – some parents even waive theirs just to make the burden easier for their son-in-law, but you have to let them know your position. Every parent wants their daughter to get married and they are willing to beg their kinsmen on your behalf, to cut down or waive some items for you.
That’s what I know most men do, so try it and let’s see. Good luck!
This is a shock to me to be honest. I live in the UK and am doing my Trad in Nigeria. my list cost me 950,000 in total and the trad wedding is coming up to 2,600 000 the ogo cherem its self is 575, 000. I feel like somethings gone wrong! lol.
Hi KingdowmBwoy, thanks for sharing your proposed wedding budget.
– To be sincere, that ‘ogo cherem’ is way too costly. Honestly, that amount is very high for a traditional wedding – but then, it depends on the size of wedding you are planning. You know, the purpose is a free-monetary-gift from the husband-in-law (groom-to-be) to support the bride’s family with hosting visitors (food, drinks etc.) during the trad wedding.
– It could be because you are planning a very big traditional wedding. If you cut down the number of guests, you can drastically reduce the cost of your traditional wedding. Also, sit with your bride and agree what you want to spend.
– It would be a nice idea for you guys to be in town at least 2 weeks to the trad date – perhaps, you could find event vendors (caterers etc.) to help organize things at a cheaper rate. Usually, most people use their compound as trad wedding venue, so that there’s zero venue cost.
Hi Stella,
Thanks for your response, (And forgive my late reply). So all in all it went well. The original prices I stated above..well it was actually more costly. Mostly due to the costing of things area to area. but hey I have a beautiful wife now! Just wanted to say thanks! the Ogo Cherem may have been a lot but in my mind now I’m glad I did that amount as it just helped show my commitment to their family (even though we paid for the trad lol)
For all the guys out there looking to do traditioanla marriage I just want to say, keep your head up! Money will always come and go so don’t stress over it too much. Don’t feel funny about speaking to the bride to be’s parents if you cannot afford certain things now. if they are a good family they (including the bride) will understand. if not and they refuse you to marry, see it as a blessing in disguise after all a moments heartbreak for a lifetime of peace sounds better than a life of misery caused by bad family.
Lastly talk to your fiancée regularly, let her know your struggles, she’s the best ambassador for you to her family.
Peace and love
Congratulations, Kingdombwoy. I am very happy to know that your Igbo Traditional Marriage rites ceremony was successful, and thanks for this feedback (it made my day).
As a man who has done it, your positive experience from your traditional engagement would be very encouraging to other male readers who are afraid of taking the big step. I trust that they would heed your advice to be open with their fiancé and future inlaws for cooperation and a fabulous traditional marriage.
Again, thanks for the TESTIMONIAL and I wish you a happy married life. We look forward to your white wedding (be sure to browse through our tips for you and your bride), and send us pictures if you would like us to feature your celebration (we’re on Instagram, Facebook and everywhere). Cheers!
Good day ma.
Pls I want to know, can #200,000 be okay for me to do my traditional marriage excluding the bride price
It should.
What if someone want to marry from Uyo
Hello Dino, I don’t have that at this time.
The process when you buy the things in the list and take to your bride family house is called ………………… and lastly what does the real traditional marriage entails ?
Hello Joe, we wrote an article that details the what goes on in a typical igbo traditional wedding – the whole process, and you can read that here (click) and here (click).
My Fiance and I are in the US, are these list likely going to be the same? We would probably get married in US, how is it differ. Finally my girl is Igbo but I’m yoruba, are there are there certain things to take note of in inter tribal marriage.
Hi Oladee, the above list is the standard Igbo bride price/ engagement list, but you should officially ask for the LIST from your in-laws (your girl’s parents), and expect to see a small variation from the one you’ll get and the one listed here (because the list varies SLIGHTLY from one village to another, but basically this list should help you make a budget and get prepared in advance).
*In inter-tribal marriage, things to note are: food and music/ entertainment – make sure to cook food from both sides, and play music from both sides (that’s what most couples do).
*When preparing for an inter-tribal traditional wedding, it’s a good idea to get familiar with how the day usually goes (wedding process) in your partner’s village/ town/ tribe, and also acquaint your family members/ parents in case the wedding would be conducted in the other partner’s language. It’s good to know what’s going on even when they’re speaking a different language. Click to read this article to get acquainted to the Igbo traditional wedding ceremony stages and how they happen. Also read this one on Questions and Answers about Igba Nkwu and this one on the Overview of Groom’s Customary Pre-Wedding Visits in Traditional Marriage ceremony.
Congratulations on your upcoming traditional wedding and thanks for reading NaijaGlamWedding blog, hope to see you around some more.
Thank you so so much for your guidelines its so helpful. Am planning my wedding which is coming up soon. I wish to correct a little mistake you made. “Ego Ogo chere m” means The money my in-laws presented to me.Hope this helps. By the way my fiance likes your site too.
Aww! Thank you so much for your feedback and corrections, Chinelo. I’m glad to know that the above igbo traditional marriage list was of help to you. AND, knowing that your fiance also likes us, NaijaGlamWedding, just made my day (my regards to him :).
Thanks for reading.
thanks so much for the writeup….is it also the same with that of Arochukwu? my uncle told me he married with half a million ,how true is it?
Hello Chichi and welcome to our Nigerian wedding blog. To answer your question – I’m not sure if the Arochukwu people’s traditional wedding list is very much different, but the engagement list of most Igbo villages are almost alike.
I believe that your Uncle did not spend that N500k on paying the bride price or the ‘traditional marriage list’. He must have spent that on the traditional wedding reception party, to which anyone can choose to spend small or big according to their pocket, OR even choose to invite only close family members (and invite friends to only the white wedding).
Hello Aunt Stella,
Am from one of the villages in Arochukwu.
Two weeks ago my fiance asked for a list from my family in the village.
I was surprised to hear that the list alone was 50k, I cud not tell my Ghanaian fiance on time but I did eventually and he was like “just the list” and I cud not say anything to defend the list.
I asked the head of my family how much will an economical traditional marriage take. And he said “hmmmm.. .. Ur husband shud budget something like 500k the list money is not included”
Aunt Stella, it’s not easy o. My fiance is saying he can’t do 500k plus marriage and he will still host his pple all the way from Ghana.
It may or may not be much but 500k! Ha, I fitn’t shout.
He is a maruwa driver and he is the one that sent me to school from WAEC to my present 400 level in an higher Institution.
I am an admin officer in one private firm and a single mum. Shey, u can see my dilemma.
And yes, I am from Arochukwu.
Hi Ella, now I see. That is too much! N50k fee just for collecting the list?
But let me ask: the items in the list you collected – would they cost up to N500k?
1) On what an economic traditional marriage ceremony will cost you – personally, I think that should be decided by you an your finace, depending on how much you people have kept aside for the wedding. Don’t ask the village head for that, your fiance should focus on fulfilling the customary traditional list – budget for that first and get it out of the way
2) Aside from that, keep guests very small, so that costs of feeding guests can be low. You don’t have to invite many people to your trad – a few family members of your fiance is okay. AND a few friends or keep it strictly within the family. AND keep food and drinks very low budget.
**In summary, I think your main budget should be around the cost of buying the things in that list, PLUS cost of traveling to the village (for you, your fiance and a few of his people).
Hello Chichi,
Among the Igbos in the east. The Arochukwu bride list alone is 50k. Just d list alone.
After d 50k the husband to be will officially start the journey of the wedding preparations proper.
It’s disheartening cos sometimes u meet a guy u like and the Arochukwu “marriage things” will scare d guy away or make the guy be in a long relationship without marriage. And yes, I am from Arochukwu.
Hi Ella, thanks for joining the conversation. It’s interesting to learn about a bit about what the Arochukwu part of Igboland demand in their wedding list. Do you mean N50k or N500k? …Because Chichi (in the comments down below) asked the question because her Uncle mentioned that he spent N500k on his Arochukwu traditional wedding event. I’d love to hear from you on this clarification.
hi my name Is abiodun, I am planning 4 my traditional welding and white welding by August and am having 300k to 350k with me pls tell me if dat amount is okay
Welcome here, Abiola, and thanks for commenting. Yes, that can be enough if you stay realistic and trim down on some unecessary expenses and invite fewer people. The biggest money eaters are wedding venue and food and drinks. AND if you reduce the number of people you will invite, catering cost can come down. To help you with ideas on practical things to do to have a fab wedding with that amount, click to seee our tips in these posts:
–Everything about planning a small wedding that is classy – over 100 practical ways and tips on where and how to reduce wedding cost
–Sample wedding budget where they spent less than N500k – look at this budget and see if you can pick one or two ideas.
Gud mornig I’m amaka pls I want 2 do my traditional and white wedding. On the same day.we are budgeting 500 thousand.wil it be ok? Pls I need ur advice
Good day, Amaka, and welcome to NaijaGlamWedding blog. N500k can be okay – once you remove your venue cost, plan the rest of the wedding with the remaining money. Be sure to keep the number of guests moderate or simply low, to ensure that your catering (food and drinks) cost do not go higher – it’s better to have a classy wedding than a big wedding where some guests don’t get food or drinks.
*Check out this sample wedding budget (click) – you may pick a thing or two to help structure your own budget.
pls dear my husband to be is bringing out 150,k for a low key traditional marriage aside my dowry n d list.. pls help me on what to buy n how I can spend it kos am really confused.. pls give a list on what I should buy … thanks